keeps driving at that thin placeand all the thin places of the world, I imagine. Sometimes I think theres a whole chain of ruined universes behind that force, stretching back untold eons in time like monstrous footprints
[He says something under his breath that I dont catch. I ask him to repeat, but he shakes his head.]
Hand me your pad, Doc. Ill write it. If what Im telling you is true and not just in my fucked-up head, its not safe to say the name aloud.
[He prints CTHUN in large capital letters. He shows it to me, and when I nod, he tears the sheet to shreds, counts the shredsto make sure the number is even, I supposeand then deposits them in the wastebasket near the couch.]
The key, the one I got in the mail, was in my home safe. I got it out and drove back to Mottonover the bridge, past the cemetery, up that damned dirt track. I didnt think about it, because it wasnt the sort of decision you have to consider. It would be like sitting down to consider whether or not you should put out the drapes in your living room if you came in and saw them on fire. NoI just went.
But I took my camera. You better believe that.
My nightmare woke me at five or so, and it was still early morning when I got to Ackermans Field. The Androscoggin was beautifulit looked like a long silver mirror instead of a snake, with fine tendrils of mist rising from its surface and then spreading above it in a, I dont know, temperature inversion, or something. That spreading cloud exactly mimicked the rivers bends and turns, so it looked like a ghost-river in the sky.
The hay was growing up in the field again, and most of the sumac bushes were turning green, but I saw a scary thing. And no matter how much of this other stuff is in my head (and Im perfectly willing to acknowledge it might be), this was real. Ive got pictures that show it. Theyre foggy, but in a couple you can see the mutations in the sumac bushes closest to the stones. The leaves are black instead of green, and the branches are twisted
they seem to make letters, and the letters seem to spell
you know
its name.
[He gestures to the wastebasket where the shreds of paper lie.]
The darkness was back inside the stonesthere were only seven, of course, thats why Id been drawn out therebut I saw no eyes. Thank God, I was still in time. There was just the darkness, turning and turning, seeming to mock the beauty of that silent spring morning, seeming to exult in the fragility of our world. I could see the Androscoggin through it, but the darknessit was almost Biblical, a pillar of smoketurned the river to a filthy gray smear.
I raised my cameraI had the strap around my neck, so even if I dropped it, it wouldnt fall into the clutch of the hayand looked through the viewfinder. Eight stones. I lowered it and there were seven again. Looked through the viewfinder and saw eight. The second time I lowered the camera, it stayed eight. But that wasnt enough, and I knew it. I knew what I had to do.
Forcing myself to go down to that ring of stones was the hardest thing Ive ever done. The sound of the hay brushing against the cuffs of my pants was like a voicelow, harsh, protesting. Warning me to keep away. The air began to taste diseased. Full of cancer and things that are maybe even worse, germs that dont exist in our world. My skin began to thrum, and I had an ideatruth is, I still have this ideathat if I stepped between two of those stones and into the circle, my flesh would liquefy and go dripping off my bones. I could hear the wind that sometimes blows out of there, turning in its own private cyclone. And I knew it was coming. The thing with the helmet-head.
[He gestures again to the scraps in the wastebasket.]
It was coming, and if I saw it this close up, it would drive me mad. Id end my life inside that circle, taking pictures that would show nothing but clouds of gray. But something drove me onward. And when I got
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