a baby in Jason’s flat. Imagine the sticky fingerprints on his vertical Bang and Olufsen hi-fi. He had the one with the option to play one of six CDs. He loved that hi-fi because when the phone rang he was able to change CD from Kylie Minogue to a moody lounge track, just in case it was a woman calling and he wanted to impress. He had no idea how entirely Austin Powers he appeared to the outside world. He usually picked something like Hotel Costes to play. Even though he lamented that it wasn’t as hip as it had been in 2001 when he stayed at Costes and actually met Stephane Pompougnac, sat and drank with him, talked about what inspired his mixes. He’d confided in Mia that the Costes CDs ‘had become mass market, a victim of their own success, but they were still good tunes’. She’d replied curtly that it was a shame that he’d have to abandon it now and find something more cutting edge as the likes of Ted and Kate played it as background music at their dinner parties.
Imagine the baby pressing all the buttons on his Cosmo dual-band GSM phone and ballsing up the oh-so-considered (and contrived) message that Jason had recorded. Apparently the phone had an integral data-fax – whatever that meant. Mia had no idea, however often Jason explained it. You could buy software to allow video conferencing; Jason intended to do so. Naturally there was no handset. The phone cost the average guy’s month’s salary, but he wasn’t an average guy and he earned way more than an average salary. Anyway, the phone hadn’t really cost him a penny as the advertising agency where he worked had paid for it. They deemed it a necessary accessory for their newly appointed Creative Director of Q&A. It was worth every penny because Jason was able to hold one woman as he talked to another if the occasion arose – and it sometimes did.
Mia smiled to herself. She knew Jason well enough to know that he was genetically perfect father material in every way – and a total vacuum emotionally. Exactly what she wanted.
Now all that was left for Mia to do was to tie up loose ends such as inviting Lloyd along to the stag do. She wanted to give all her old uni friends the impression that the only thing that concerned her was that Action Man had a great time. There were bound to be questions after the trip, when she conceived. It was essential that the pregnancy appeared absolutely accidental. No one must guess at how she’d schemed for the event. Arranging the trip had involved all her negotiation skills, her cunning, her discretion and her determination. Providing Checkers could make that weekend, however, she thought it was in the bag.
‘Fantastic. Count me in,’ said Lloyd, although he was thinking he ought to check with Greta first to see if she had anything in the diary that he needed to be involved with.
‘Cool,’ said Mia. ‘I wondered if you’d have to check with Greta.’
‘No, no, no problem there,’ assured Lloyd. He hoped that he sounded like a man that successfully managed his relationship with his girlfriend. A man that had found balance and attained intimacy, while avoiding intrusion. ‘There won’t be any argument. Greta doesn’t do arguments.’ His ex-wife, Sophie, had been the queen there. Greta, on the other hand, sulked. Lloyd didn’t think it was necessary to add these choice pieces of info.
This wedding was good news for Lloyd. He hadn’t heard from the gang for such a long time. It would be good to catch up with all the guys and spend some real quality time with them. Sure, they texted one another reasonably regularly. Sure, they called occasionally, and they even made plans to meet for dinner or to go away together for a weekend from time to time. Invariably, though, those plans were cancelled at the last moment. Everyone worked so hard. People had come to expect a blowout because of a meeting running late or a sudden and urgent request to put a report together for 8 a.m. the following day. He was
Jo Willow, Sharon Gurley-Headley