Stiltskin (Andrew Buckley) by Andrew Buckley Read Free Book Online Page A

turned to walk back to the table with the ledger but quickly spun around and lashed out with the quill, cutting Robert across his cheek, instantly drawing blood.
    “What the hell?”
    She quickly wrote Robert’s name in the ledger and placed the quill back in its place.
    Robert held a hand over his cheek.
    “It’s just a scratch, Robert. Don’t be a baby.”
    “What now? Why does everything feel different down here? I feel misplaced and yet right at home.”
    “The Exchange is the only place on the entire planet that exists in your world and mine. Think of it as a border crossing.”
    “So it’s here in Othaside but also in Thiside? And who the hell named these places?”
    “Maybe you should calm down, count to ten?”
    “Do you have any idea how confusing this all is?”
    “Look, you’re getting a little frantic.”
    “Frantic!” Robert’s voice notched up an octave. “Who’s getting frantic? I lost my girlfriend last night, lost my job this morning, was almost attacked by a Dwarf in my bathtub, was knocked out by a Fairy, dragged across town by you who won’t tell me anything other than there’s two worlds with ridiculous names, you attack me with a feather―”
    Lily slapped Robert. There was a momentary pause, during which Lily’s cool exterior was thawed ever so slightly by the smile that crept onto her face, and Robert’s blood pressure dropped back to its usual level.
    “Thank you,” he said, “I think I needed that.” The light from the hanging bulbs reflected off her eyes, causing the amber colours within them to dance.
    “It’s a lot to take in but let’s go inside and talk to the White Rabbit.”
    “The White Rabbit? From Alice in Wonderland?”
    “Don’t mention that to him, it’s an unfavourable subject. Come on.”
    Lily pushed through the wall and vanished, leaving Robert alone in the antechamber.
    Come on, Robert, pull yourself together. Your life has never made much sense, too many unexplained things and now this whole situation makes even less sense. Maybe somewhere along the line, all this nonsensical stuff will suddenly end up making sense. Or at the very least, there’s no harm in trying, it’s not like life can get any worse.
    And with that rather stupid and presumptuous thought Robert closed his eyes and pushed against the wall that Lily had vanished through.
    The wall was cold and felt like a gooey sort of liquid that for a moment enveloped his entire body, slid across his skin, into his ears, through his fingers and then all of a sudden there was a rush of warm air as he came out on the other side. The first thing he noticed was that the room wasn’t much bigger than the one he had left, although it looked more like a professional interior designer had a hand in its creation. The second thing he noticed was that the colour had completely drained from Lily’s face. The final, and possibly most prominent, thing he noticed was the presence of several dead rabbits littering the floor immediately in front of them.



he Warrior Gnomes of the Grimm Mountains watched the Dwarf as he emerged from the Exchange in Thiside. He was limping, favouring his right leg, and clutched a bloody rag to the left side of his forehead.
    “He’s injured,” said General Gnarly.
    Gnomes were exceptionally strange creatures. Their creation had occurred thousands of years ago when an extremely inexperienced witch had cast a spell to create a new breed of Dwarf that would serve only her. She had measured out the right ingredients, had dug up the bones of an ancient Dwarf, mixed everything in a cauldron, lit the right kind of fire, using the right kind of wood, and then completely skipped the last page entitled When and Where because she got bored. The explosion it caused was seen for miles, mostly due to the pretty colours it created.
    The witch was completely obliterated in the explosion, but when the smoke cleared there sat two tiny figures with little beards and pointy hats. Standing just