Story Girl by Katherine Carlson Read Free Book Online Page B

been forbidden.
    “Is she okay in here?”
    “Yes – just leave her,” I sighed.
    James maneuvered around her and carefully lifted out a pile of journals, diaries, loose pages, and old scripts.
    “Not a writer, huh?”
    “Oh please – that stuff’s from high-school. Old crushes and crappy poetry.”
    “I’m not buying it.”
    He un-stacked the boxes, and Lucy quickly disappeared inside another one. He rifled through everything – all of my various notes, scribbled commentaries, and crummy screenplays.
    “Why do you pretend it doesn’t matter?” he asked.
    “Oh God, James – please. It’s a bunch of childhood doodles.”
    “Is that why you haul it around?”
    Shit
.
    “It’s just a lot of very light, very silly stuff.”
    James read the titles of a couple of the bulkier scripts, “The Meaning of Everything Before I Died and The Existential Trench.”
    Even Lucy peered out of a box to cock her head at me.
    “Really light and really silly,” he said.
    “Can we just not talk about it right now. Please.”
    “Why not?”
    “Just because.”
    “Why not, Tracy?”
    “Because I don’t want to.”
    “Okay, I’m sorry.”
    We both sort of went slack against the floor as if we were inflatable dolls who’d had our plugs pulled. I wasn’t sure how long we stayed crumpled up like that, but finally James spoke.
    “I wanted to be a self-made man. My father was a self-made man – he had businesses in everything. He’s a true entrepreneur. I figured if I came out here, at least I’d be charting my own course.”
    “Okay.”
    He turned over to face me, “I just want to chart my own course.”
    “But you’re not really charting your own course,” I said, unable to stifle myself. “Not if your parents pay for
everything
, and not if you’ve let your father change the entire theme of your film.”
    I thought of my own parents, and was happy they hadn’t funded my life or taken over my tepid ambition. As frustrating as it was, it was still mine alone to make, break, or transform into something a little more plausible.
    “So am I a parasite or a sell-out?”
    I couldn’t tell if he wanted to kiss me or punch my lights out.
    “You’re a kid with rich parents and it’s all been a breeze, and now it’s time to grow up.”
    “Anything else?”
    “Trust me, James. You’ll feel a lot better about yourself.”
    He shook his head like he wasn’t convinced.
    “Otherwise, you’d rather be depressed than not, and all because you’re lazy.”
    “So are you saying you’re not attracted to me?” he asked.
    The question put me on vibrate mode. It took me half a minute to recover my voice, but I willed myself to forge ahead – for the sake of any possible future we might share.
    “I am very attracted to you, but I can’t respect you if you don’t respect yourself.”
    “Stung.”
    “What?”
    “You’re being a little harsh.”
    “No, I’m not – just honest.”
    But I really couldn’t remember ever being so harsh or honest before, not with a guy – especially one I wanted to devour whole hog.
    “Let me demonstrate what I’m up against.”
    I wasn’t quite sure what he was talking about. He pulled out his cell phone and pushed a button.
    “Mom? Yeah hi. Fine, fine. Well, actually, not so fine. My car died on the freeway today, and this sweet girl ploughed right into the back of me. Yes, yes, I’m fine. We’re both fine. Nothing is broken. Yes, I know you warned me this would happen. I’m over at her place now. Her name is Tracy. I don’t know – I’ll ask.”
    James covered the mouthpiece with his hand, “What’s your last name?”
    “Johnston.”
    “Tracy
Johnston
. She made me tea. No – she’s not gonna sue me.”
    As I watched his lips move, I couldn’t help but wonder what his tongue would feel like inside of my mouth.
    “She was really understanding about the whole thing, especially since she lost her job today for not showing up – a production assistant for film.