and headed for the young man, who must have been be five or six years older than I.
âYou know the story of Kishalaya?â
âNo. What is it?â
âHeâs a brahmin who frees a tiger from its cage and makes it promise not to eat him in exchange for its freedom. Itâs a traditional tale of Bengal, but never mind. You know how to sing Baul?â
âNo.â
âI am always chosen to perform the Indian national anthem and the traditional songs of Bengal. Do you know that most childrenâs diseases are spread by mosquito bites?â
âNo, I didnât know that.â
âI learned all that at school, just as I learned the importance of hygiene, reading and mathematics, and I canât see myself abandoning all that to marry you!â
With that I turned on my heel and went back into the room where the parents were still arguing about the wedding and the dowry.
âYour son is an idiot! I wonât marry him whatever my parents say!â
I knew that my parents were going to be embarrassed and get a bad reputation, but I couldnât see any other way to get meout of this trap. The family went away. My mother gave me a furious look, and my father took the villagers back home, all the time offering profuse apologies.
As soon as I enter the gate of the school I feel a sense of liberation. I know that here I am protected by my teachers. They are the ones who taught us that in spite of our ages we can refuse to go along with our parentsâ plans. I feel like asking for advice from Atul, the teacher, but I decide against it, thinking that my parents have understood the lesson and that itâs not worth embarrassing them any more by letting the incident reach the ears of the teachers. Arjun drops in on the class to remind us that everyone should be present next Friday and that no one should leave the class before he has finished his talk. We try to find out what he is going to say to us, but he wonât say a word. He simply states that itâs important and that he wants to see all of us on that day.
After the class I had no wish to go back home, where remonstrations very probably awaited me. I went off to Afsanaâs and we played the tag game of
kho kho
until my little brother came to get me.
The telephone rings inside the house, and Ma hands it to me. itâs my cousin Sathya, the daughter of my paternal aunt, and she wants to speak to me. She is about the same age as my big sister, and we understand each other particularly well. Iâve sometimes spent several days at my auntâs in her little hamlet, which is an hour from us by bus. The whole family makes rattan furniture, and the men then sell it at the market. Sathya tells me that her cousin would very much like to come with his parentsto meet me. I am astonished by this request. If she wants to come to pay us a visit, she knows very well that sheâs welcome.
âWhy are you talking to me about your cousin?â
âHe would like to marry you. Weâve learned that your parents want you to marry, and he is interested.â
I reply that she must have misunderstood because I do not intend to get married. Itâs not worth the trip because my answer will be identical even if he is standing in front of me. I will not change my mind. I ring off and hand the telephone back to my mother. I donât say a word. She has obviously heard everything.
I understood that my parents had the firm intention of getting me married, most likely before the next winter. Ma is too busy nursing my brother Tapan to work in the rice paddies any more. Baba no longer manages to earn enough money. The price of food is going up, and we have to drink the water that rice was boiled in. It is becoming more and more difficult to go on like this. Are my parents right? Must I ease out of the family environment and leave room for my younger brothers and sisters? I feel guilty that I was ever born.
On Friday Arjun drops