slurring in his text. He is so damn drunk. I don’t want to talk about this with him.
Me to J- Yes, it makes me come hard and a lot. And yes you are drunk on alcohol. What are you drinking?
J- I can’t believe you come from anal. I need to fuck your ass with my dick and make you come that way. Hell yeah! You’d love it. God I’m hard. I told you I’m not drunk.
Me to J- No anal play or pussy play for you. You’re supposed to be abstinent, remember? And yes you are. Now, what are you drinking?
J- I should be drinking your fucking pussy. But you’re being a bitch and won’t let me fuck you or suck your cunt. Damn-it woman. Let me fuck you and suck your cunt. I’m coming over. I’m going to fuck you. Tell James to leave. He’s whipped. He’ll listen. Then I’m going to come in you and you’re going to suck my cock.
Me to J- HA-HA I’m not home. So you can’t come and try to fuck me. James is not whipped. And stop being a dick and tell me what you’re drinking?
J- I’m drinking beers and um some kind of weird fucking shots. They taste good. If you’re not home. Where are you? Did Claire take you out? Is she fucking your ass right now? I want to fuck your ass.
Oh my god! He’s an asshole a lot but he’s worse when he’s drunk. But it’s kind of comical in a strange way. I can’t stop laughing and James has put me on ignore. He’s in the book zone. I live in that zone a lot. So I can relate.
Me to J- I’m in Colorado with James in a cabin for the next two weeks. And no Claire is sadly in New York. Stop texting. Go home, be a good boy and go to bed. I’m going to go to sleep and tuck your daughter and son in for the night.
J - Colorado? Is he proposing marriage? That’s the kind of place to propose. If he does you better tell him no. Your pussy is mine. James can’t have it. And apparently Claire already owns your ass. So I guess he can have your mouth. That’s a good one. We need to get a contract. Pussy is Johnathan’s, Claire Kennedy gets asshole and Calvin James claims mouth. Will you sign it? I’ll call a lawyer tomorrow if you will.
Oh my fucking god! He did not just say that. I am cracking up. He sure is hilarious tonight. Funny as hell. Oh man! Johnathan, Johnathan, Johnathan. Crazy as all get out. I can hear his voice with all the slurring and hand gestures. This would be a conversation to see in person. It’s that funny.
Me to J- If James proposes I’ll say yes. He treats me better than you do. And no I’m not signing anything. Knowing you, you’d put a clause saying you get to fuck my ear every other Thursday. So keep dreaming bucko and go to bed. I’m tired, stop making me laugh. I might pee my pants.
J- Ooooo, fucking your ear. That’s a good one. A little small but so is your pussy. And it’s oh so sweet. I can still remember that smell. Damn you’re fine. Why won’t you marry me? You shouldn’t marry James. He’s too old. I’m a young vibrant stud. Ready to rock your world. With my ten inch cock. Fuck I’m horny. This absita fucking thing sucks. I’m forcing myself to jack my cock like ten times a damn day. I’d rather you suck it with those sweet luscious lips of yours.
Me to J- Oh wow, that’s a sweet sentiment. Not. And James isn’t too old. He’s hot for being forty three. Now, go to bed. I’m done talking. Please don’t drive and be safe.
J- Are you fucking your bodyguard? I think there was a movie about that. You shouldn’t do it.
Me to J- Not that it’s any of your business. No, I’m not. But go to sleep. Goodnight Johnathan.
J- I love you my sweet pussed lady. Sleep well. Kiss my kiddos night night from daddy.
Me to J- Love you too, drunken crazy man .
I sit my phone on my nightstand and click out the light. James is still reading his book and focusing on the words. I see two pages turned down already. Must be two good parts he likes. I love that he does that.
“I’m going to bed , Teddy Bear.” I say to him cuddling down in the bed,