Suck It Up by Brian Meehl Read Free Book Online Page B

don’t have fangs.”
    â€œRight.” She headed toward the elevator. “Tell that to my daughter.”
    Morning tensed. “You have a daughter?”
    She answered his startled expression with a smile. “Well, I’m glad there’s something you and Mr. Birnam don’t know.” Reaching the elevator, she punched the down button. “Don’t worry, my daughter’s bark is worse than her bite.”
    As they rode the elevator, Morning was sure Birnam had known about Penny’s daughter, but for some reason he hadn’t mentioned it. Given all of Birnam’s blather about bloodlust and ultimate tests, Morning had to believe the daughter was a tree Birnam was intentionally throwing across his path.

----
    WHAT DO VAMPIRES REALLY WANT?

    Leaguers want the same things any minority wants that has suffered the slings, arrows, and stakes of persecution.
    OUR SHORT LIST
    1. Respect.
    2. Equal rights.
    3. To make staking a hate crime.
    4. To put our holidays on the calendar.
    5. To have a parade on Vampire Pride Day.

----

8

    Portia Dredful
    Portia gripped the fat cheeseburger with its overhangs of lettuce, bacon, mushrooms, and raw onion. Her jaw yawned open, and she chomped down. Burger juice rained onto her plate.
    Almost seventeen, Portia didn’t look a bit like her mother. She got her looks from her father. Which was the only thing she got from him these days. When she was thirteen, her mother had hit the husband eject button, and Dad hadn’t stopped flying until he landed in Australia. Portia was six inches taller than her mother, with olive skin. Her languid figure was a mushroom stalk under a mad cap of curly, dark brown hair. Two of the few things her father managed to get right were the nicknames he had given Portia and Penny: the Gypsy and the Gremlin.
    As the Gypsy savored her first scrumptious bite of cheeseburger, the locks on the apartment door clacked. Her mother bustled into the kitchen, followed by a skinny kid in a hooded sweatshirt and jeans. Normally, Portia would have gotten the first word in, but her tongue was burger-tied.
    â€œThis is my daughter, Portia,” Penny said. “She’s a recovering vegetarian.”
    Portia swallowed and spoke to the scrawny teenager. “You’ve obviously met Penny. She’s a recovering mother.” Her dark eyes shifted to her mother. “Your burger’s on the stove. Is this my punishment for not waiting for you? You bring home a stray?”
    â€œHis name is Morning McCobb. And he, my darling daughter—”
    â€œLemme guess.” Portia gave him a quick once-over. “He’s either a chess prodigy or winner of the latest reality show,
America’s Next Top Geek
?”
    Morning was torn between lobbing a comeback about him winning
Top Geek
only because she wasn’t allowed to win two years in a row, and wanting to thank her for being no Rachel Capilarus. Birnam no longer had to worry about him busting out in bloodlust and hanging his fangs on the first Lifer girl he met. It’s not that he thought Portia was ugly; she was okay. She just wasn’t a girl who would make him forget the poster hanging in the Bloodlust Management classroom:
Just Say No to Chugalugs
.
    â€œYou’re not even close,” Penny informed her daughter with a tiny smile. “Morning is a vampire.”
    â€œRight,” Portia deadpanned, then positioned her burger for another bite. “Another freaky client from Diamond Sky PR, as in Pesos and Rubles.”
    â€œAs in Pays the Rent,” Penny countered. “So be nice.”
    Portia stood up and shoveled a second cheeseburger onto a bun on a plate. “Okay, I’ll give him your burger.”
    Morning tried to stop the mother-daughter bout from escalating any further. “That’s okay, I don’t eat”—they both turned to him—“meat.”
    â€œOf course you don’t,” Portia said, slapping the