Surrender (The Forbidden Series Book 3) by Michelle Betham Read Free Book Online Page A

some kind of future together? Although, as I look at her, right into her eyes, I’m not sure that’s even an option anymore. I think I’ve pushed her too far now. She’s realised how bad an idea we really were.
    ‘I thought you were a good man, Neal. I thought that with her out of the picture you’d at least try and make some attempt to get over her. And I gave you the benefit of the doubt,   I really did, but you can’t do it, can you? Because I don’t think you want to. You’re weak. You can’t let her go even though she’s moved on. You can’t live in the present because you still obsess over the past…’
    ‘It’s not that simple, Helen.’
    ‘Isn’t it?’
    Our eyes lock, and I think we both know what’s happening here.
    ‘I really wanted to believe, Neal. And I hung around, and I waited, like some lovesick idiot because I thought you just might have finally gotten over her. Or maybe that was just me, wishful thinking. But what we had, I thought it was good, I thought we were good…’
    ‘We were, Helen, you have to believe me… We were good, and we could have been great, I know that, it’s just…’ I run a hand back and forth through my hair, dropping my gaze because looking at her, it hurts. I know I’ve been so unfair to her; to this women who’s done nothing but try and make everything better. And the guilt is crushing. She deserved so much better than me. ‘I’m just not ready.’
    She shakes her head, and the look in her eyes is something that tears me apart because I truly never meant to hurt her. ‘I don’t think you ever will be. Because you won’t let yourself.’ She turns to go, but then she slowly swings back around and this time the look in her eyes is more defiant. ‘Word of advice, Neal. Don’t use people as crutches. Don’t use people to prop you up, it really isn’t fair.’
    ‘Helen, baby, I’m so sorry…’
    She shakes her head again, her eyes still boring into mine. ‘I’m going back to the apartment, to collect my things. I think it’s best I do that while you’re here.’
    ‘Helen, please…’
    ‘You’re killing yourself, Neal. By doing this, by allowing yourself to feel this way you’re killing yourself. And you deserve so much more than that. You deserve so much more than her .’
    I throw back my head and breathe in deep as another part of my fucked-up life crumbles around me. And she’s right, I am weak. But I just can’t fight it. Kira Blu walks into a room and I am dead, that’s the way it’s always been. It’s the way it always will be. So I have two options here: either I resume the fight, or I get as far away from Kira and any connection to her as soon as I can.
    Neither will be easy.
    But I’ve got to make a choice.
    A decision.
    I’ve got to do something…

Six
     
     
    Kira
     
    I wasn’t ready for this. I wasn’t prepared. Thinking I was, assuming I could do this after what I thought was enough time away from him; I was wrong. Because the second his piercing blue eyes meet mine I feel like someone’s punched me so hard I’m almost fighting for breath. And I squeeze Jon’s hand and I pray to God that he’ll say something and make me realise that all I’m feeling here is a faint rush of nostalgia for a life I never really got around to living.
    ‘Kira?’
    I turn to look at the man I’m about to marry in just a matter of weeks. It’s almost the beginning of a brand new year, and I’m on the threshold of a wonderful, beautiful new life and I need to cling on to that because everything else – it wasn’t real. It wasn’t. It was fun and dangerous and exciting but, it wasn’t real. This , what I have with Jon, that’s real. That’s something that is going to last. And it may not be a life that makes my heart race faster every day; it may not be the kind of life that leaves me breathless or excited all of the time but it’s real. And that’s what I need now. I need real.
    ‘Don’t let him do this to us, kid.’
    I