Surviving Him by Dawn Keane Read Free Book Online Page A

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    “Today is a happy day. I want you both to be happy.”
    I try my best to reassure them, and Amy smiles.
    “One day we will be so happy, Mum. I really want you to be happy, too. I don’t like seeing you sad.”
    “I’m not sad.”
    I have to lie to them to be strong; I can’t let them know my real feelings, of how broken and useless I feel inside.
    The sound of bagpipes echoes hypnotically through Edinburgh's city centre. The fireworks light up the night sky; we run to the window to watch, as the glorious historical Castle becomes a silhouette. The bright flashes of the blasts of colourful explosions light up the night sky, casting a magical glow over the castle and rolling hills leading down into the city centre, where the celebrants have flocked for a picturesque view of the display, overlooking Princes Street. The celebrations must be to do with the day’s festivities. This brilliant party would only have been rivalled by the opulence of Hogmanay; the Scottish New Year’s Eve, known as Old Year’s Night.
    "Oh, I do so miss this sort of thing, living in Scotland too. One day ladies we will get back here, I promise you that.”
    And I mean that from the depths of my heart.
    Kayleigh gives me her warm signature smile, but it doesn’t reach her eyes.
    "You miss Logan don't you, mum?"
    The sorrow in her voice tells me she is sensing my mood.
    I try to quell my feelings but she is such a soulful, sensitive girl, she always seems to know when I am sad or down. She gives me the biggest bear hug and is quickly followed by Amy, which makes them both laugh, and I laugh along with them.
    “I do miss him loads.” I mutter my confession then quickly work to change the subject to something that wouldn’t have me choking down tears. “We might as well make the most of it while we are here girls. Get some more dessert. Would you like another drink of juice?”
    “Yes please!” they shout.
    “What kind?”
    “Sprite!” they both reply in unison.
    I make my way over to the bar.
    “Vodka and diet coke, no ice. And two Sprites with ice, please.”
    The barman has a strong Edinburgh accent. He turns to make conversation with us while he makes our drinks.
    “Have you been to the parliament anniversary celebrations? There are quite a few of you here.”
    “Yeah, it’s been such a beautiful event.”
    He is tall with red hair and blue sparkling, kind eyes, and a body to die for. He has a cool swagger; he is gay, I’m sure, but he is sexy and confident. I tell him a bit about our relaxing day.
    He reminds me of another thing I miss about Scotland; the friendliness, its people. I knock back my vodka coke and ask for another to take back to our table.
    I manage not to fall flat on my face, however, I’m now feeling a little tipsy after the wine I had with dinner and my second vodka. How I have managed to stay on my feet all day without ending up on my ass, completely amazes me.
    The girls are still putting a dent in their slice of birthday cake when my phone starts to sing to me from inside my handbag. I rummage around frantically for the sake of my eardrums and those of anyone else nearby.
    “Damn! I bet that was a call from Logan I just missed.”
    I hope that he is ok. I worry Ian could still go after him; I can’t stand the thought of Logan being hurt because of me.
    Ian has spent a lot of years in prison and appears to have become a hardened criminal in many respects. I fully expect that he wouldn’t think twice about slashing someone’s throat. Running around with a machete is his thing, an ordinary everyday thing like boiling the kettle in the morning and making a cup of coffee.
    When I finally unearth my phone from the depths of my bag, I wake the display to see it was Logan’s call I had missed. I dial him back, hoping he will pick up. I will be able to settle down for the evening once I know he is all right. He answers on the first ring.
    “Hey, how you doing? Is everything ok your end?”
    I didn’t