Sweet Addiction by Maya Banks Read Free Book Online Page B

Lucas finally asked.
    Ren sighed against him and again, her unhappiness struck a chord deep inside his chest. “Not at first. He took care of me. Dressed thewound every single day. Went with me to have the stitches removed. But he didn’t touch me sexually. Not even once. He drifted further and further away. It was like he felt he wasn’t worthy of me anymore. It was so frustrating. I tried to talk to him but I just couldn’t get through. The harder I tried, the more convinced he was that he wielded too much power over me and that he wasn’t responsible enough to shoulder it and wield it properly. He blamed himself for ‘pushing’ me into the lifestyle. He seemed to forget that it had held as much interest to me as it had to him from the very beginning. It was a need I had, one I recognized, even before we ever embarked on the sexual side of our relationship. But he didn’t see it that way. He thought he’d forced me into something I didn’t want. That I’d done it all just to please him. And I know I’m making him sound like a martyr and that now, years later, it may sound ridiculous, but you have to understand, this affected him profoundly.”
    “Yes, I see it did,” Lucas murmured.
    “He truly felt like the best thing he could do for me was to walk away when in fact it was the one thing that hurt me far worse than any whip to my back. Cole changed me. He awakened something within me that has never died. He is a large part of who I am today.”
    “I think you don’t give yourself enough credit,” Lucas said.
    She shook her head. “I know what you’re saying. I do. But the thing is, he was my introduction to dominance and submission. Would I have gotten there eventually without him? Oh yes, definitely I would have. It was a need inside me before he awakened it. But through him, I tasted what it was like to have a man utterly cherish me. Protect me. Love me with everything he had. Would my experience have been the same with another man? Absolutely not. What if I had chosen the wrong man? What if I had experimented with someone who didn’t care for me as much as Cole did? Or someone who wasn’t as patient as he was. Or even someone who wasn’t willing to listen to what I liked and didn’t like, andwhat I needed and didn’t need? Because of him, I knew exactly what I wanted and needed from a relationship and I refused to settle for less. I’m honest in my needs and wants because of
him
. Because he showed me that there are men who will give me exactly what I want sexually and emotionally.”
    Her impassioned speech shook him. Her eyes had darkened and she leaned forward, her voice cracking with emotion. This wasn’t a woman who’d moved on and forgotten the man she’d once given her very soul to.
    A sensation that felt very much like dread settled heavily into his chest. The weight was uncomfortable, like a rock pushing down on him.
    Cole had said he’d want Ren to be happy. Could Lucas say the same? He’d told Cole as much. But were they just words? A week ago he would have said without question that her happiness was everything to him. He spared no expense to ensure she had everything she could possibly need or want. He anticipated her moods, protected her, cared for her and yes, he cherished her.
    But could he really take that step to ensure her happiness? To give her a choice?
    His mouth was dry and he loathed the indecision that racked him. He’d already taken the first step. Ren was his. She wouldn’t question what he chose to do with her body. But he couldn’t control her heart and that realization unsettled his carefully ordered existence.
    What he planned to do could very well mean losing her, and he wasn’t at all sure he could ever live with that.

C HAPTER 8

    L ucas chose the meeting to happen at Cole’s offices. Cole wouldn’t have expected Lucas to come to him. The more expected move would have been for Lucas to have made a power play, invited Cole into his sanctum so that the