predicament. She supposed she would have to do it for her mother’s sake. She could never tell her though, the thought of her perfect daughter sleeping with her boss to help her would drive her to the grave in no time at all.
Sarah sighed, staring out the bus window at the buildings going past. It was nothing to worry about at this moment, anyway. She would just wait until tomorrow to worry about such things. Sarah would do anything for her mother, just to keep her happy and as healthy as she could. When she had gotten home, she greeted her mother who was still in bed. She made her some soup to eat, praying she would be able to keep it down while she napped the afternoon away. Later that night she made dinner for the two of them and her mother was actually feeling good enough to sit with her at the kitchen table to eat it with her.
“I think things are going to turn around for the better, mom,” Sarah had told her.
“Oh yeah, why is that?” her mother had asked between coughs.
“I am… going to get a promotion tomorrow,” she had said “more than likely anyway.”
“A promotion? So soon?” her mom had asked with a smile “That is my girl! You must be doing a great job down there.”
“I like to think so,” she had smiled uneasily “it will be… hard work… but it will mean more money and more time at home with you.”
“Oh sweetie, you worry about me far too much, you know that,” her mother had said, giving Sarah a big hug.
“I do not worry about you enough, mom,” she had said with a sad smile on her face.
“Do not give me that,” she had said “if you get more time off you should spend it living your life, maybe get yourself a boyfriend or something.”
“I will never have time for that,” Sarah had said “and I do not really care. You are what is most important to me.
“Oh, Sarah, you will get time someday,” her mother had said “perhaps sooner rather than later.”
“I do not want to hear you talk like that, mom,” Sarah had said angrily.
“You are right, I am sorry,” she had said “let us go back to being happy, okay?”
“I can live with that, mom,” she had smiled a little less sadly now.
Sarah had a hard time sleeping that night, wondering what Mr. Anderson was going to say and do when she agreed to be his mistress. She had never even saw a drawing of a naked man before, she had wondered if they all looked the same more or less. It was not as if her family was overly religious or anything, Sarah just never had time for such things. She was never given an opportunity to learn, always going to public schools where sometimes some kids just were not taught all the ins and outs of things, so to speak. Sarah had wondered if that had meant Mr. Anderson had been attracted to her then, since he had wanted her as a mistress. That was kind of nice in a creepy way. At least someone had thought she was pretty.
Sarah always had low self esteem and never thought anyone would be interested in her romantically since she became an adult. She did not mind because she had known that there was no time for such nonsense for her anyway. She sighed and tossed and turned in her small bed. It was so uncomfortable in her bed, which was little more than a twin mattress laying on the floor. Her mother had a real bed, but she had needed it. Her mother would ask and even sometimes beg Sarah to sleep in the bed with her, but Sarah just could not do it. In a sense she was afraid of her mother, the constant threat of death always lingering over the poor woman. Sarah would
Ruth Wind, Barbara Samuel