TALES FROM THE SCRIPT: THE BEHIND-THE-CAMERA ADVENTURES OF A TV COMEDY WRITER by Gene Perret Read Free Book Online Page B

and several producers on the nBC lot.
They took me to dinner at elegant restaurants. To me, that was Big
Time Show Business.
    i was still a working man, used to traveling for the company. i
kept a detailed account of all my expenses. At the end of the week, in
saying goodbye to Bernie and Saul and thanking them for their gracious hospitality, i mentioned that i had money left over from the
expense allowance they’d given me.
    “How should we settle up?” i asked.
They said, “Take that money and fly to Las Vegas for the weekend.”
They weren’t interested in getting a formal expense account, nor
did they want any of the money back.
    Las Vegas was tempting, but i was more eager to get back and
spend the weekend with my family at the seashore. They were expecting to meet me when they arrived back in Philadelphia on Monday,
but instead, i wanted to surprise them by driving down and spending
the weekend with them.
    That’s when i learned what the saying, “A prophet is never received in his own country,” meant. i approached the house we had
rented at the shore and peeked in the window. The kids were excited.
They shouted, “Mommy, someone’s looking in our window.”
My wife turned, saw me, and said to them, “Oh, it’s just your father.”
i would have preferred, “Oh, it’s probably some famous Hollywood writer,” but all i got was, “it’s just your father.”
    So much for my ego.
Working on a California-based show from Philadelphia was a
challenge. i’d do monologue material and send it in advance. That
was no real problem. However, the producers did like my material
and wanted my input on the rest of the show. They sent me the completed script in the beginning of the week. There was no overnight
mail or computer e-mail in those days, so i’d receive the script in the
middle of the week.
i worked on the script through the night, adding jokes wherever i
felt they improved the show. Then, i shaved, showered, and dropped
the revised script into the mail on my way to work. One day a week,
i went sleepless.
The producers appreciated my work, but the rest of the country
apparently did not. The show drew low ratings and was cancelled in
mid-season . . . along with my $250 stipend. it seemed i was right
back where i started.
it was demoralizing, not only for me, but for my family. By then,
i had been writing for about nine years. Although i made a little bit
of money from my comedy, we did not spend any of it. instead, we
invested it with the idea that when the move to Hollywood happened,
we’d have enough saved up to make it convenient.
However, it looked like no move to Hollywood was going to happen. So, my wife and i discussed my career and decided to abandon
it. We were going to take the savings and buy a new house.
Fortunately, deciding on a house took time. Before we found anything we wanted to spend our life savings on, i got another call from
Bernie Weintraub. Since the cancellation of Phyllis Diller’s show, he
had been scouting up work for me in television.
Orenstein and Turtletaub were hired to do That Girl, the situation
comedy starring Marlo Thomas. They knew i wasn’t ready for situation comedy writing yet, but they did feel i could work as a staff writer
on a variety show. They mentioned my name and recommended my
work to several other producers who would be working in variety,
and they convinced their agent, Weintraub, that he could place me
on some staff.
He had two potential shows—one featuring Jimmy Durante
and the Lennon Sisters, and the other a variety show featuring Jim
nabors, who became a bankable television star with his hit sitcom, Gomer Pyle.
Bernie told me, “Write some samples of what you would do for
both shows and get them to me.”
i did, and the Jim nabors producers made the first offer.
i took it.
i was going to Hollywood.
i was delighted, but not everyone was. When i told my mom that
i was leaving General Electric to become a television