Tear Stained Beaches by Courtney Giardina Read Free Book Online Page A

hoping that whatever it was I would find it. I started clicking through folders, opening and closing documents, all while the voices of my friends muttered through my head. I could hear them telling me to just let it go, be happy with the life you have, turn your head and just keep doing what you’re doing. In a way, I did want to just brush it under the rug, what I didn’t know wouldn’t hurt me, but in the end I knew I couldn’t live like that. It just wasn’t in me. I was better than that, and I deserved better than that.
    Most folders were just legal documents, client invoices and case recaps. I actually began to feel relieved. It was just what I needed to find, nothing. If I couldn’t find anything, it meant there wasn’t anything there and I could finally put my accusations to rest and trust that my husband was telling the truth. My moment of joy, however, was short lived when I clicked on a folder labeled business expenses . I opened a document labeled Charleston 5/10.  It was a receipt for a condo rental. The date looked familiar, but I didn’t know why. I got up, tiptoed into the kitchen and looked at the planner on the fridge. On that weekend I wrote: Chase, Chicago until Sunday. I swallowed hard; my heart dropped. “That son of a bitch!” He never even went to Chicago. Tiptoeing back into Chase’s office, I sat down again. The next file I opened was for a receipt for an airline ticket to Kettlewood Island for Labor Day. Cute, real cute! I wondered what his story would be for that weekend. I saved it to my email to print on a day while he was at work. If I was going to confront him, I was going to need this.
    I searched a few other folders, but didn’t find much, so I moved onto his email. My body still shaking, and mind full of guilt. I had really become the crazy person Chase had accused me of being, but I couldn’t help it. It was almost like I was looking at myself from the outside. Like I was looking over some girl I didn’t know and couldn’t control her actions.
    There was nothing in his inbox. I thought maybe I’d find a receipt for an online flower purchase or an email from a woman to meet for dinner, but there was none. His sent folder, on the other hand, well that was a different story. At first I thought it was just spam. A bunch of no subject emails with an attachment being sent from him. I clicked on a random one dated three days ago. Nothing was written in the email, but there was a video attachment. I made sure the volume was turned down before I opened it. To my surprise, the still of the video when it opened was Chase. Having no idea what to expect at that point, I hit the play button. At first Chase was just shuffling around, setting the camera in the right spot and moving the desk lamp around so he could be seen perfectly. I slowly turned the volume up just enough for me to be able to make out what he was saying.
    “Hey baby, I’m about to go to bed and I just wanted to say goodnight. I miss you and I really hate sleeping without you and to know how long I have to go without seeing your pretty face is killing me. Labor Day is not going to come fast enough. Let me know when you’re free this week for a phone chat. I don’t want to go much longer without hearing that voice of yours. I will see you soon sweetheart.”
    The last thing I saw was him puckering his lips for the camera, sending a kiss across the airwaves. I clicked the X in the top right corner, signed out of his email and turned off the computer as fast as I could. My face became flushed; I could feel it burning.  I was so mad I didn’t know if I could keep from confronting him right then. My breathing became heavy, my fists clenched with anger. I wanted to scream, punch something, throw something, break something, and kick him where it hurt the most, literally. I wanted to run upstairs, shake him awake and ask him how he could ever do that me. I started to make my way up the stairs imagining what I would say to