Tequila Mockingbird by Tim Federle Read Free Book Online Page B

his times in and out of prep school, chasing (and getting rebuffed by) prostitutes, while gaining bloody noses, enemies, and overnights on train station benches. Throw together a traditional Christmas punch for an untraditional Christmas story: much of Catcher takes place at the holidays, and this one ought to lift the spirits of your crankiest elf.
    MAKES ABOUT 8 DRINKS
    Â½ bottle (about 1½ cups) rye whiskey
    4 ounces pineapple juice
    2 ounces lemon juice
    1 liter ginger beer
    Add the whiskey and juices to a punch bowl with a big ol’ hunk of ice ( page 7 ). Stir in the ginger beer and gather your pals. Time to chase those blues away.

THE ADVENTURES OF SHERBET HOLMES
THE ADVENTURES OF SHERLOCK HOLMES (1891–92)
BY SIR ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE
    P ro-tip: “Elementary, my dear Watson” was never exactly spoken by Sherlock Holmes. Conan Doyle’s beloved sleuth appeared on the big screen saying that phrase, but not on the page; he was too busy being the only detective who could crack a case from the comfort of his armchair. We take a tip from a lesser-known story that appeared alongside twelve others in a blazingly popular magazine series: raise a glass to “The Blue Carbuncle,” a Holmes whodunit involving a goose with a very expensive gem lodged very inconveniently in its neck. After you trade jewels for berries, the only remaining mystery will be why you’ve never made this party pleaser before.
    MAKES ABOUT 10 DRINKS
    1 quart berry sherbet
    1 bottle (about 3 cups) Champagne, chilled
    1 liter ginger ale
    Â½ cup fresh blueberries, washed, for garnish
    Empty the sherbet into a punch bowl and pour the Champagne and ginger ale on top. Float the blueberries and serve. Don’t leave the room for long—you’ll return to a fast-empty bowl and a classic whodrunkit.

THE PITCHER OF DORIAN GREY GOOSE
THE PICTURE OF DORIAN GRAY (1890)
BY OSCAR WILDE
    B oy, did this book have it all: knife fights, magic paintings, and (spoiler alert!) people who never age. Wilde wasn’t just ahead of the cosmetic surgery boom here—he also pushed the envelope on homoeroticism, resulting in widespread censorship in later versions of the book. Try getting your hands on the juicy early copies of Dorian , and then gather a group of aging beauty queens (or simply aging queens), who’ll be guaranteed to love our hedonistic youth serum. Just keep them away from your expensive art.
    MAKES ABOUT 8 DRINKS
    10 sprigs fresh mint, washed
    1 (12-ounce) can frozen lemonade concentrate
    2 cups vodka (like Grey Goose)
    Cucumber, sliced into wheels, for garnish
    Tear the mint, then place in the pitcher. Add the lemonade concentrate and stir until thawed. Pour in the vodka and 3 cups cold water and stir. Serve over ice, garnish with the cucumber wheels, and remember: age before beauty—if anyone will fess up.

THE PORTRAIT OF A PINK LADY
THE PORTRAIT OF A LADY (1880–81)
BY HENRY JAMES
    A woman’s liberty is at the pink, beating heart of Henry James’s transatlantic novel, one of his finest in a life measured in words rather than women (James was an avowed celibate). Of course, Victorian-era independence is different from Victoria’s Secret–era independence, and rather than go sad and single, the heroine chooses the least terrible suitor she can find and ends up wealthy, wed—and woeful. Our variation on a classic cocktail is best served to a group of ladies holding out for Mr. Right—or even just plain right —no matter how many sweethearts they may have to sift through.
    MAKES ABOUT 12 DRINKS
    1 liter gin
    3 cups pink lemonade
    6 ounces grenadine syrup ( page 11 )
    1 liter club soda
    Combine the ingredients, except the club soda, in a big punch bowl. Show off a little by adding one of those big, glamorous blocks of ice ( page 7 ). Stir in the bubbles and sip away the troubles; the grass is always pinker on the other side of this cocktail.

THE JOY LUCK CLUB SODA
THE JOY LUCK CLUB