The Absolute Value of Mike by Kathryn Erskine Read Free Book Online Page B

just drive around some neighborhoods.” Someone had to have Wi-Fi.
    Tyrone headed up and down streets, but no luck. It wasn’t exactly a Wi-Fi kind of town. The few I did find were locked. I held the phone out of the window, trying to get closer to the houses we passed.
    Finally, I looked down at the phone and saw an unsecured network: AdamsFamily . “Stop! I think I’ve got something!”
    Not only did Moo stop, she ran around Tyrone to my door, putting one hand on it and raising the other high in the air. “Is that better?”
    â€œWhat are you doing?”
    â€œI’m being your antenna.”
    â€œBut I don’t need an an—”
    â€œHurry up, before my arm gets too tired.”
    â€œBut—okay, fine.”
    I quickly started an e-mail, putting “FROM YOUR SON” in the subject line so Dad would notice. Between the sender name “Mike Frost” and “FROM YOUR SON,” he might actually realize it was me.
    Dad! Dude! TURN YOUR PHONE ON! Check your messages! Send money fast! Your son, Mike
    â€œOkay, done.”
    Moo ran around and hopped back in the driver’s seat. “What did your dad say?”
    â€œNothing yet.”
    She shook her head. “Well, I don’t think it’s such a smart phone then if you can’t even get an answer.”
    We passed the Kmart, so I knew we were getting close to home, when Tyrone slowed down. “Oh, dear,” Moo sighed. “GAS!”
    â€œWhat, again?”
    â€œTyrone’s not out of gas. It’s me.”
    â€œYou’re out of gas? Or . . .” I moved closer to the door. “You have gas?”
    â€œ GAS is an acumen, Mike. The first letters stand for items on my to-do list.”
    â€œYou mean acronym .”
    â€œThat’s it! G stands for Gladys, A stands for Allegheny Power—because I have to do both those errands tomorrow morning—and S stands for Shop ’n Save. I should’ve found a way to buy scrapple, at least, because we’re all out and now I have none for Poppy’s dinner.”
    I grinned and held up my five pounds of scrapple. “Don’t worry, Moo, it’s in the bag!”
    â€œMike, you are such a savior. Where would we be without you?”
    Moments later, she sang, “Home again, home again, jiggity jog!” Yanking Tyrone’s wheel, she careened into the driveway, spraying gravel everywhere. We were headed straight for the parked Suburban and we weren’t slowing down.
    â€œWhoa! We’re going to hit the” —Crunch!— “Suburban!”
    â€œOf course, dear. That’s what bumpers are for. Besides, it’s only Poppy’s.”
    No wonder Poppy didn’t like Tyrone. I got out of the car shakily and watched Moo navigating the buckets in the front yard. She stopped and said, “Karen’s here! That’s her scooter!”
    â€œWho’s Karen?”
    â€œShe’s a teacher—”
    â€œA teacher?” Oh, jeez, had Dad found a teacher in Do Over to tutor me all summer? It wouldn’t be the first time. “What’s a teacher doing here?”
    â€œShe’s also our temporary minister. She’s a teacher during the school year. I bet she’s here to talk to Poppy about the artis—artees—arteedge—”
    â€œArtesian screw?”
    â€œThat’s it!”
    I hoped Karen was as persuasive as one of those televangelists who got people to send them all their money and everything they owned. She’d need to be strong to deal with Poppy.
    Moo must’ve been thinking the same thing. “If anyone can get through to Poppy, Karen can. And Oprah, of course, but I don’t think she’s coming.” Moo ran up the front steps. Pushing the front door open, she turned to me. “Mike, Karen will need to rely on you for the artesian screw.”
    â€œMe? Why me? And what’s Karen got to do with—”
    But her