between her hands. Long. It would stretch down past a woman’s shoulders,
down even to her buttocks. A breeze from the open window plucked the hair out of
her hand and hid it among the blankets, a badly kept secret. She searched but couldn’t
find it again. Holly glanced towards the clock on the bedside table. 3:05.
It wasn’t Valentine’s Day anymore.
1991: A Book of Dreams
The orgone is strong tonight. It feels to Nick as if he has lowered himself into
a jar of honey. His movements become slower, languid, the air is thick to the point
where breathing is like swallowing.
Downstairs, down through the living room with its vast wooden cabinets to the basement.
He is not allowed to go into this secret place, but the door was left so tantalisingly
open. Walls thick as secrets, carpet spilled on the ground to soak up any fear. Even
though he knows everyone is out, Nick looks around before he opens the heavy door
to the dark wooden box.
The Accumulator. The good rays come in, purified through the thick coffin-shaped
wood casing and the layers of fibreglass and steel wool. There is a jar of mung bean
sprouts on the seat, an experiment. Nick is not a scientist yet, although one day
he might become one. The mung beans are an experiment, behaving as you would expect,
shooting up enthusiastically from the damp layer of cotton wool: supercharged by
orgone. He can feel the orgone energy envelop him as he climbs up onto the hard seat
of the Accumulator. There is a pillow and he pushes it behind his back and nestles,
pulling the jar of sprouts into the cradle of his arms.
‘Safest place in the world,’ he whispers across the neck of the jar.
He breathes the orgone in through his mouth and releases it out of his nostrils,
a circular breathing, a healing loop. He can feel the energy coursing through his
body, purifying his blood before it settles in his lap, a solid throb of orgone.
He is suddenly aware of the way his thighs are clamped together and when he looks
down, setting the jar of sprouts aside for the moment, a pale blue glow is highlighting
the little tent in his shorts. He closes his eyes and concentrates. Breath in, breath
out.
There is a smell like smoke. Nick’s eyes are suddenly wide; he flinches and touches
the sides of the accumulator. Something is on fire. Perhaps the EAs have landed and
they are torching the place with their ray guns and he will burn to death…
But no, there is nothing but the comfort of darkness and the slight blue glow floating
around his hips. He waves his hand through the glow but it doesn’t respond to the
movements as smoke would. He tries to catch some in the palm of his hand but it is
like trying to capture a spirit.
It is the orgone. Nick is sure that is what he is seeing here, the pure blue glow
of the orgone energy that has been attracted by the accumulator and captured. Pure
healing energy, and it is this same energy that is causing his penis to rise now.
He breathes in through his mouth, out through his nose. All he can do is sit and
enjoy the tingling sensation. If only he had superpowers. He could catch the orgone
and channel it like in the comic books. He could mould the orgone into a ball and
hurl it at the enemies of pleasure. If Nick had superpowers he would gather the blue
glow and make it sharp and pointed like a spear. He’d throw it straight at the EAs
just like Dr Reich and his grandpopa used to do with their cloudbuster. His hands
would be smoking and glowing blue like lightning. Nick presses his hands down into
his lap where the blue glow is filling him with a nice tingling feeling, making his
penis fierce and hard.
He presses his hands against his penis to hold onto the pleasure just a little longer.
Somewhere, he is pretty sure, there is a superhero powered by orgone energy. His
dad has told him it is possible and although he is not allowed to have faith without
science he secretly, faithfully holds out hope.
Nick closes his eyes, presses his penis,