The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents by Terry Pratchett Read Free Book Online

you have to keep wearing that stupid hat?” asked Darktan, grinning.
    â€œYes, boss!” Sardines was one of the older rats, but most of the time you wouldn’t know it. He danced and joked and never got into fights. He’d lived in a theater and once eaten a whole box of greasepaint. It seemed to have gotten into his blood.
    â€œAnd no going on ahead of the Trap Squad!” said Darktan.
    Sardines grinned in turn. “Aw, boss, can’t I have any fun?”
    He danced after the rest of them, toward the holes in the walls.
    Darktan moved on, to Number One platoon. It was the smallest. You had to be a certain kindof rat to last a long time in the Trap Disposal Squad. You had to be slow, and patient, and thorough. You had to have a good memory. You had to be careful. You could join the squad if you were fast and slapdash and hasty. You just didn’t last very long.
    He looked them up and down and smiled. He was proud of these rats.
    â€œOkay, people, you know it all by now,” he said. “You don’t need a long lecture from me. Just remember that this is a new town, so we don’t know what we’re going to find. There’s bound to be plenty of new types of traps, but we learn fast, don’t we? Poisons, too. They might be using stuff we’ve never run across before, so be careful. Never rush, never run. We don’t want to be like the first mouse, eh?”
    â€œNo, Darktan,” the rats chorused dutifully.
    â€œI said , what mouse don’t we want to be like?” Darktan demanded.
    â€œWe don’t want to be like the first mouse!” shouted the rats.
    â€œRight! What mouse do we want to be like?”
    â€œThe second mouse, Darktan!” said the rats, like people who’d had this lesson dinned into them many times.
    â€œRight! And why do we want to be like the second mouse?”
    â€œBecause the second mouse gets the cheese, Darktan!”
    â€œGood!” said Darktan. “Inbrine will take Squad Two. Bestbefore? You’re promoted, you take Squad Three, and I hope you’re as good as old Farmhouse was right up until the time she forgot how to disengage the trip catch on a Snippet and Polson Ratsnapper Number 5. Overconfidence is our enemy! So if you see anything suspicious, any little trays you don’t recognize, anything with wires and springs and stuff, you mark it and send a runner to me—Yes?”
    A young rat was holding up her hand.
    â€œYes? What’s your name…miss?”
    â€œEr…Nourishing, sir,” said the rat. “Er…can I ask a question, sir?”
    â€œAre you new in this platoon, Nourishing?” said Darktan.
    â€œYes, sir! Transferred out of the Light Widdlers, sir!”
    â€œAh, they thought you’d be good at trap disposal, did they?”
    Nourishing looked uneasy, but there was no going back now.
    â€œEr…not really, sir. They said I couldn’t be any worse than I am at widdling, sir.”
    There was general laughter from the ranks.
    â€œHow can a rat not be good at that ?” asked Darktan.
    â€œIt’s just so…so…so embarrassing , sir,” said Nourishing.
    Darktan sighed to himself. All this new thinking was producing some strange things. He personally approved of the idea of the Right Place, but some of the ideas the kids were coming up with were…odd.
    â€œAll right,” he said. “What was your question, Nourishing?”
    â€œEr…you said the second mouse gets the cheese, sir?”
    â€œThat’s right! That is the squad motto, Nourishing. Remember it! It is your friend!”
    â€œYes, sir. I will, sir. But…doesn’t the first mouse get something, sir?”
    Darktan stared at the young rat. He was slightly impressed that she stared back instead of cringing.
    â€œI can see you’re going to be a valuable addition to the squad, Nourishing,” he said. He raised his voice. “Squad! What does