The Ape Man's Brother by Joe R. Lansdale Read Free Book Online Page B

off the curve, and over the side of the big hill. The car flew like a plane. Was in the air all the way down until it hit a brick fence around a sheep farm. Tore that fence down, and one of the sheep died of a heart attack. It didn’t do the car any good either.”
    The Good Samaritan drove to a nearby farmhouse, called the law and an ambulance. That’s how The Big Guy ended up in the hospital, wrapped up like a mummy, his legs lifted in traction. The nurse told us that three days later he came around, but they couldn’t get him to eat or drink. He seemed to want to die. They finally used heavy drugs to put him completely out, help him deal with the pain. I thought, yeah, the pain. The only thing he was pained about was seeing me and The Woman together like that. Broken bones were nothing to him.
    After he was knocked out, they kept him that way, ended up hooking him to a feeder tube and an IV. We went and sat by his bed, and when they tried to make us leave because visiting hours were over, we wouldn’t. They finally gave up and let us stay. The Woman held the hand of the arm that wasn’t broken, and I just sat in my chair with tears in my eyes and looked at him.
    The Good Life had ruined all three of us.
     
    …
     
    One morning, The Big Guy still on the mend, The Woman at the hospital with him, I went to see Dr. Rice, and laid out my plan. I said, “Doctor, The Big Guy, he’s not doing so well. Civilization hasn’t taken with him like it has with me. He needs to go back.”
    The old man nodded. He said, “And back he shall go.”
    Remember, the location of our home on the world in the mist had been kept secret by Dr. Rice, and a couple of other individuals, including the navigator, one Bowen Tyler. Red and a few others had been on that trek, but they were all trusted individuals, except for Red, who had been there due to the fact he was then The Woman’s boyfriend, and a known hunter and tracker. He could find his way through the jungle, but no one thought he knew the path to our world across that vast ocean, so any knowledge he had wasn’t a great concern. And at that moment, no one knew where he was. Nothing had actually been proven to suggest he had been the one behind the lion-fucking leak, or for that matter, the camera in our room, so there was nothing to do legally, though it was in the back of my mind to give him a visit if I got the chance so that what was inside of him could be found painting the walls of his abode, wherever that was.
    Remember too, for the most part we were considered the perpetrators of a hoax to sell tickets in Hollywood, so that gave us a bit of insulation, and was part of the reason crew members had been silent in regards to discussing where we had come from. To talk about us in a positive way was the same as telling their neighbors they had seen the Abominable Snowman in their backyard having a cookout on their barbecue grill with a nude female leprechaun.
    We made plans. The Big Guy was going back, and I had a pretty good idea that The Woman was going back with him. While The Big Guy was on the mend, it was pretty obvious that he and The Woman had found their connection again. It was also clear, though I had betrayed my friend, he had forgiven me. He said so. I suppose that he actually had always known. The photographs that he found in his hotel room were just the icing on the cake. In fact, it was a rare thing for him to go back to that room, but he had, and they had been waiting. Yeah, the photos were the icing, but he had known about the cake for a long time, or certainly suspected it was baking in the oven. I think he forgave me because he understood. The Woman was a force unto herself, and he felt he had been as responsible for our situation as much as we had. I didn’t agree. Friendship should have stood steadfast, woman or no woman. But, then we come back to that part about it being her, and if you’ve ever seen her, you would understand. I don’t mean photos of her.