The Arrangement by Joan Wolf Read Free Book Online Page B

flaw in it. “If I am going to look at a horse, then Nicky will never understand why he cannot accompany me.”
    Once again the straight, dark gold eyebrows lifted. “What about his studies with this Mr. Ludgate?”
    “Mr. Ludgate is always flexible.”
    The earl shrugged, his big shoulders moving easily under his superbly fitted coat. “Are you required to produce a reason for leaving him behind, Mrs. Saunders? I have no children myself, but I have a number of nieces and nephews, and I know that they would never expect to accompany my sister and brother-in-law on all of their jaunts, even when school is not in session.”
    I considered trying to explain to Savile that Nicky and I did not have an ordinary kind of mother-son relationship. When Tommy died, all of my communication with the world of our mutual childhood had died with him. Lady Saunders disliked me, and she disliked my son as well, so Nicky had grown up with no contact with any of the members of his father’s family. My parents and my sister, Deborah, were dead; the only remaining member of my family was Aunt Margaret. As Aunt Margaret had never once, in all the years that Deborah and I had lived with her, set foot outside the confines of her house and garden, she was incapable of coming to Deepcote to visit me. And my returning to Hatfield had simply been out of the question.
    This lack of family had caused Nicky and me to bond together in a way that parents and children in ordinary families, who shared their affections with a number of other people, did not. To put it simply, Nicky was everything to me—as I was to him.
    It was impossible to express all this to the Earl of Savile.
    I said, “It is a good suggestion, my lord, and if you don’t mind, I will make use of it.”
    He put down the poker, returned to his seat, and said mildly, “I do have a stallion, you know. Actually, I have several of them. They are standing at my stud near Epsom. Come spring, you are more than welcome to breed Maria to any one of them, Mrs. Saunders.”
    I felt the color burning my cheeks. I raised my chin. “I am not an object of charity, my lord,” I said fiercely. “I do not accept what I cannot pay for.”
    “My dear girl,” he returned in the same mild voice, “I was only suggesting a loan. You can easily repay me the stud fee when you sell Maria’s foal.”
    My heart jumped. It was true that I didn’t want charity, but an offer like this was manna from heaven. I said carefully, “I shall have to wait until the foal is a yearling if I want to realize a decent sum.”
    “I would be in no hurry to be repaid, I assure you.”
    Thankfully, there was no amusement in his voice when he said this.
    “Well…” I drew a deep breath. “If that is indeed the case, I should be very happy to accept your offer, my lord.”
    “Good.” He smiled at me. “I should hate for Nicky to think you had found my stallion wanting, you know.”
    That beguiling smile caught me at a weak moment, and I smiled back.
    Something leaped in the air between us, and suddenly my heart began to hammer so hard that it felt as if it were going to break through my rib cage. The smile left his face, his expression hardened, his eyes narrowed.
    Oh no! The thought was sheer panic. No, no, no, no, no.
    I jumped up, my only thought to get away from him, away from the dangerous look I saw in his eyes, away from the dangerous feeling I had in my stomach.
    I stammered, “If you will excuse me, my lord, I must find Nicky.” And heedless of how rude or stupid I might appear, I fled the room.
    * * * *
    There was no fire in my bedroom during the middle of the day, so I wrapped myself in a blanket and sat staring into the cold grate.
    I had been a widow for six years now, and during that time there had been a number of men who wanted to warm what they imagined must be my cold and lonely bed. There had even been two men who wanted to lie with me so badly that they had offered to marry me.
    So I understood