The Audience by Peter Morgan Read Free Book Online Page B

selected as one of the eighty-five new life peers.’
     
He shrugs.
     
    What are you doing reading that rag? They got their facts wrong for a start. It’s eighty life peers we would create. And that bit at the bottom of the third paragraph about my proposals being ‘a step towards an atheistic society with no moral rudder’? I’m keeping sixteen bishops! What more do they want? (
Under his breath
.) Still sixteen too many as far as I’m concerned.
     
    Elizabeth Goodness. You certainly took it to heart.
     
    Wilson No, Ma’am. I just read it.
     
    Elizabeth But clearly often enough to memorise it.
     
    Wilson   I’m afraid that’s something that comes naturally. (
Taps head
.) To be honest, I don’t know how anyone could do the job without it.
     
    Elizabeth I don’t understand.
     
    Wilson 3.1415926535897932384664338327950288419 716939937510582097494459230 …
     
    Elizabeth What on earth is that?
     
    Wilson Pi. To 66 places. Would you like me to go on? I can do 135.
     
    Elizabeth You have a photographic memory?
     
    Wilson I do.
     
    Elizabeth You memorised the article having read it –
     
    Wilson Skimmed it. Once. Over a boiled egg.
     
    Elizabeth I don’t believe you.
     
    Wilson Yes.
     
    Elizabeth No!
     
    Wilson Yes. Go on. Test me, then.
     
The Queen looks up.
     
    Open up a book. Any book. On any page.
     
    Elizabeth A book …?
     
The Queen looks around the study. No sign of a book anywhere. Embarrassed, she walks over to her desk. Picks up the phone.
     
    Hello. Could you bring us a book. (
Listens
.) It doesn’t matter what kind. (
Listens
.) There must be one somewhere. (
Listens
.) Ask someone from the household to go into one of the empty guest rooms. Try the Green Bedroom. In the East Wing.
     
She hangs up. A silence. Wilson puffs his cigar. The Queen sips her Dubonnet.
     
    Won’t be a moment.
     
    Wilson Yes, it will. It’s a journey of about three miles. In a private house. It’s a scandal. Took me an hour to walk to breakfast this morning.
     
    Elizabeth You love it.
     
Presently, approaching footsteps. A breathless member of staff comes in holding a book. He passes it to Wilson.
     
    Thank you.
     
Wilson looks at the hardback book.
     
    (
Reading
.)
Life in a Crack Regiment: A Novel of German Military Manners and Morals
by Baron von Schlicht
     
He raises his eyebrow. The Queen clears her throat.
     
    The Duke of Edinburgh’s sister was here last week.
     
    Wilson Pick a page.
     
He passes the book to the Queen, she picks a page, then passes it back. Wilson scans it briefly, then, giving her the book to check:
     
    ‘The final German victory over England is only a question of time. Before long we will have air superiority and 90,000 men, horses and tanks will rise out of the sea and on to British soil. Once we have established dominance, we will begin occupation. Key targets will be neutralised – the Prime Minister, Marxists, Freemasons, Jews, all confirmed enemies of Germany … with the exception of –’
     
Wilson looks up, indicates to the Queen.
     
    Elizabeth (
heart sinks
) ‘– the British Royal Family … who we believe are deeply sympathetic.’
     
The Queen clears her throat. Puts down the book, anxious to change the subject.
     
    Bravo, Prime Minister. Now, we must leave for the picnic.
     
    Wilson Oh, joy.
     
    Elizabeth Don’t be like that. It’s a rare occasion where you’ll be together with friends. Who don’t
hate
you. You might even enjoy it. It’s a beautiful summer’s evening. Years of city living and high office have made you soft.
     
They walk towards the door.
     
    I thought you wore wooden shoes to school in Halifax?
     
    Wilson Huddersfield. Not me personally, Ma’am. Some of the other boys.
     
    Elizabeth Ah, so the hardship was someone else’s? Typical politician. (
Opening the door
.) Now, enough of your clogs. Where are my dogs …?
     
The Queen and Wilson walk out. The Queen calls out to several dogs.

  
Wilson stops, then pops