The Baker's Daughter by Sarah McCoy Read Free Book Online Page B

celebrated debutante. Rosy-cheeked and always smiling, smart and witty, she was already in law school. While Reba … Reba was scribbling in her notebook and playing dress-up with the boys. She felt she was always letting her momma and sister down.
    Thus, in a sudden strange twist of reason, she resolved to emulate Sasha, learn from her and hopefully channel her sophistication. First step: veganism. She did a quick library search on the lifestyle and diet. The basics were hard to swallow. No animal products. Period. Reba decided it might be worth it to be connected to a cause, to truly stand for something, but
all
of the animal kingdom seemed radical. So she chose cows. No yogurt or cheese, butter or beef. She’d save a cow with each declined bowl of ice cream—and did so for nearly three weeks.
    Then Valentine’s Day arrived, and Sasha reminded her that dairy cows were sucked of their mother’s milk for the production of chocolate. Sasha and her boyfriend attended a PETA “Veggie Viagra” event, while Reba stayed home.
    The sadness had returned stronger than ever that night, gnawing on her insides. The hungry wolf, her daddy had called it. In bleary binges, he’d described it to her and Deedee when they were girls: how it crept after him in the daylight shadows and shredded his nights to jagged fragments. Then he’d pour himself another amber glass, sip, smile, and playfully make them swear not to mention it to their momma. They’d agreed but kept their fingers crossed behind their backs. It didn’t matter either way. Momma brushed it off, “Nothing but boogeyman tales. You know better than to take anything he says seriously when he’s in one of his moods. Now go to bed and sweet dreams, my girls.”
    After Daddy’s death, Reba discovered his medical records while helpingto clean out his office. He’d had years of electroconvulsive treatments for severe depression, and up until the very week he died, he met each Thursday with a clinical psychiatrist at the Medical College of Virginia. Dr. Henry Friedel notated that predeployment, her daddy had suffered from chronic sadness, anxiety, and feelings of hopelessness; food binges followed by periods of no appetite; insomnia; inability to make decisions; unresolved guilt; extreme high-low mood swings; and an altered sense of reality. Reading his symptom list, she’d buckled: they could’ve been her own. Dr. Friedel further noted that all these preexisting symptoms were withheld from army recruiters and, thus, exacerbated by combat conditions.
    Alongside the file was a volume of handwritten notes from her daddy’s sessions. As she was lifting it into the brown packing box, a page came loose from the metal prongs and slipped to the ground. Though it was his private business, Reba’s curiosity got the better of her and she’d read:
    February 28, 1985
    In addition to the patient’s previous complaints and aforementioned clinical treatment, Mr. Adams continues to suffer from insomnia due to night terrors and waking flashbacks related to his active duty service in the Vietnam War. In discussion, he continues to focus on the Sõn Tinh District woman and her teenage daughter whom he claims to have raped while under the influence of psychotropic agents, which he had obtained illegally from local Vietnamese. Mr. Adams states that he later stumbled upon a black wolf devouring the women’s ravaged bodies. (I have still not established if the wolf is a factual experience or more likely, simply represents the manifestation of his subconscious guilt.) Particular patient attention is focused on the company insignia carved on the victims’ naked chests. Mr. Adams cannot recall if these acts of mutilation were perpetrated by himself or his fellow soldiers, nor can he ascertain if he was instrumental in their deaths. However, the deliberation of this point remains the central focus of our discussions