The Barrytown Trilogy by Roddy Doyle Read Free Book Online Page A

to sing, said Joey The Lips. —Like the birds of the air.
    —They’re supposed to be backing vocalists.
    —Ah, fuck off, Cuffe, said Billy. —The cunt’s jealous, so he is.
    —Yeah, said Outspan.
    —Sap, said Imelda.
    —Grow a pair o’ tits, pal, an’ then yeh can sing with them, said Billy.
    —Are you startin’ somethin’?
    —Don’t annoy me.
    —Here! said Jimmy. —None o’ tha’.
    The time was right for a bit of laying down the law.
    —No rows or scraps, righ’.
    —Well said, Jim.
    —An’ annyway, said Jimmy. —The girls are the best lookin’ part o’ the group.
    —Dirty bastard, said Natalie.
    —Thanks very much, Jimmy, said Imelda.
    —No sweat, ’melda, said Jimmy.
    —What’ll we sing? Bernie asked Joey The Lips.
    —You know Walking in the Rain?
    —Lovely.
    —I WANT HIM, Imelda sang.
    —It doesn’t exactly have a strong feminist lyric, does it? said James.
    —Soul isn’t words, Brother, said Joey The Lips. —Soul is feeling. Soul is getting out of yourself.
    —But it’s corny.
    —You’re not singin’ it, Specky, said Imelda.
    —It’s wha’ yeh’d call crossover music, Jimmy explained. —It appeals to a wider market. Black an’ whi’e. Redneck an’ Dub.
    —An’ it’s good, said Natalie.
    —You speak the truth, Sister, said Joey The Lips. ———We need rain and thunder. ——Brother Billy, you can supply us with the meteorological conditions?
    —The wha’?
    —Rain and thunder?
    —I don’t know abou’ the rain but I can give yeh all the fuckin’ thunder yeh want.
    He attacked the kit.
    —Fuckin’ hurricane if yeh want it.
    Jimmy spoke. —Can yeh rattle one o’ the cymbals gently?
    —Gently? ——Jaysis, I don’t know. ——How’s this?
    —Grand, said Jimmy. —That’s the rain.
    —Good thinkin’.
    The girls were practising a move. They crossed their arms over their chests every time they sang HIM.
    —The wall of sound. Mr Spector’s Wall of Sound here, Brothers, said Joey The Lips. —Brother Outspan, you’re the main man on this one.
    —Fuck! Am I?
    —Stay cool, said Joey The Lips. —Let’s hear it.
    —CHUNGHA—CHUNGHA—CHUNGHA— CHUNGHA—
    —Terrif, said Joey The Lips. —Sisters.
    The Commitmentettes got ready.
    —Rain, Joey The Lips shouted.
    Billy gave him rain.
    —Thunder. ————A bit less.
    He nodded to the girls.
    —DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO —
DOOO—
    DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO —
DOOOooo—
    Natalie, in the middle, stepped forward.
    —I WANT HIM —
    —Get up!
    —That’s not funny, Brother, said Joey The Lips. —We start again.
    —Sorry.
    —Rain. ————Now thunder.
    —DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO —
DOOO—
    DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO —
DOOOooo—
    I WANT HIM——
    AN’ I NEED HIM——
    AN’ SOME DAY —
SOMEWAY —
    WOO OH WOO O —
O—
      OH —
          I’LL SEE HIM—
    Bernie and Imelda stepped up to join Natalie. They sang together now.
    —HE’LL BE KIND O’ SHY — Y —
    Imelda started laughing but they didn’t stop.
    —AN’ REAL GOOD LOOKIN’ TOO —
OOO——
    AN’ I’LL BE CERTAIN —
HE’S MY GUY—
    COS THE THINGS —
HE’LL——
  LIKE——
   TO——
   DOO——
    —Thunder, Joey The Lips roared.
    A cymbal hopped off its stand.
    —LIKE WALKIN’ IN THE RAIN, Natalie sang.
    —LIKE WALKIN’ IN THE RAIN, Bernie and Imelda sang.
    Then they were together again.
    —AN’ WISHIN’ ON THE STARS ——
UP ABOVE—
    AN’ BEIN’ SO —
IN LOVE.
    If Outspan had broken one string it wouldn’t have mattered. But he broke two so they had to stop till he replaced one of them and Joey The Lips tuned it.
    —Tha’ was smashin’, girls, said Jimmy. —Fair play to yis. They’ll be eatin’ chips ou’ o’ your knickers.
    —You’re fuckin’ sick, you are.
    * * *
    Things were going very well.
    There were mistakes, rows, a certain amount of absenteeism but things were going well. Joey The Lips was a calming influence on them. It must have been his age. As well as