The Believing Game by Eireann Corrigan Read Free Book Online Page B

the right. I was barbaric.”
    â€œBarbaric?”
    â€œThat’s pretty bad, right? But you know what?”
    â€œWhat?”
    Addison wrapped his arms around me. I could feel the eyes of the others. Ms. Ling was probably outlining her next abstinence lecture. He drew me closer. “It’s still my birthday.”
    Addison kissed me in the middle of the bowling alley. I could hear the bells and whistles of the arcade ringing. His lips tasted like buttercream frosting as his fingers siftedthrough my hair. I lined my whole body up against his and leaned in. It felt like I’d been designed to fit right there.
    It could have been a full minute before I blinked and glimpsed Wes lifting his hand to conduct. Even the guys behind the shoe counter had chimed in to serenade Addison with “Happy Birthday.” I stepped back to sing too. I really belted it out, the way you do when you’re a little kid, just so happy to have been invited to the party. Sophie winked at me, bookended by the bench-press bros. Hannah closed her eyes and swayed. Ms. Ling looked more human than lizard just then. I felt myself looking around frantically, trying to memorize every sliver of that moment. Maybe that’s why I noticed that Joshua was the only one not singing along.

The birthday party solidified some things. Addison and me, for one. It meant we both had to sit through sessions with the dean of students. “You’ve been making such progress, Greer.” She tapped her pen against her desk as she spoke. “Are you certain you’re not throwing that away?”
    We’d reviewed our answers together. “Addison is such a good influence,” I told her.
    â€œI feel inspired to stay sober” was his line.
    And both of us: “We’ve agreed it’s nothing serious.” I can’t imagine we fooled anyone, but we still tried. We kept up a hands-off policy on campus and never argued with dinner table assignments. I signed out each day as usual and he met me at the bottom of the hill. Sometimes we snuck into one of the movie-viewing cubicles in the library. Or sat on the curb between two parked cars so that we could kiss and kiss without being seen. It never went further than that. “I don’t want all of this at once,” he told me, looking embarrassed. “A little at a time.” I found myself thinking, This must be what it feels like to be good.
    The pictures Addison slipped under my door suddenly had lines written along the margins. Nothing insanely saccharine. I carry you in my heart, he wrote once. Another time: This matters to me.
    Since bowling, we formed what Sophie called our elitist clique , but she was only half-joking. It felt as if that night had counted as some kind of induction. I felt close to everyone who’d been there. Sophie claimed it was Add and me. “People like to be part of a secret.” She spoke with her usual authority. “You two are easily the best cause on campus. And then there’s Joshua.” She said it like it embarrassed her.
    â€œWhat about Joshua?” I felt something tighten, like the air around us got thicker.
    â€œHe just has a way with people.” We were in the common space of the dorm. Sophie had boosted herself up on the beige Formica of the kitchenette. She picked at the edge of the counter, where it lined up against the wall. “Joshua has a way of talking to people.”
    He’d been to campus, it turned out. A couple of times when Add and I were holed up in the library or walking into town. “How is that allowed?” I asked when Sophie paused for a breath.
    â€œHe’s running some kind of group session with the NA kids. Ms. Ling came back from the bowling alley raving about him.”
    It ended up that I was the last to know. When I confronted Addison about it as we walked back from Sal’s that night, he acted like it was no big deal. “The dean had this idea for a