The Boy Who Came in From the Cold by B. G. Thomas Read Free Book Online Page B

twenty-four hours since his last shower, yet it seemed like a century. He found a bar of soap and a bottle of shampoo as well, sniffed both, and found he loved the scent of the bar. Something herbal and country smelling about it. It lathered quickly, and he was soon covered in suds, and the sight and feel and smell was more heaven.
Why in the hell did I kiss him?
     
He froze at the thought.
     
I kissed him. I really did. I kissed a man. “And I liked it” came a familiar song in his head.
    No!
Why didn’t it feel like it did when he kissed Joan? Kissing her had been like putting his mouth on that CPR dummy at school when they were teaching lifesaving techniques.
No. Gabe’s mouth was strong and warm and alive and real and
    God! Todd’s cock throbbed and showed no sign of going down. He was almost afraid to touch it. It felt like it wouldn’t take anything and he’d shoot. Why was he so fucking horny? Should I just do it? God, wouldn’t it be tacky to masturbate in someone else’s bathroom?
Well you can’t very well do it on the couch!
    Gabe’s face came to his mind then, and that chest, and that bare butt. Gabe’s butt was so smooth while his was furry. Would Gabe like that? A hairy butt?
Todd thought of Gabe’s mouth. His smile. His tongue wet and demanding against Todd’s own.
     
No! No no no!
    Todd focused instead on Joan and grabbed himself. He pictured her, with her round pale face and her wild explosion of dark hair. He thought of holding her close. Began to stroke the long yet slender length of himself.
    Weird. It didn’t feel all that good. The thought of Joan wasn’t doing anything for him. Immediately, her whiney voice came to mind, and how she called him “Toddy,” even though he’d asked her not to a million times. He shook away her voice, focused instead on her body. But when he pictured her large breasts and that triangle of hair below— the slitted opening—he felt his semi-erection grow limper. Her private place just wasn’t attractive to him. Why did boys make such a big deal about vaginas? He was sure it was all bullshit. No one could really like that, could they? There was nothing there. What was all the foofaraw about? Now a guy on the other hand… a guy had something to get excited about. A guy had something to play with. And a girl’s butt. He’d never liked Joan’s bottom either. Nothing like the hard muscular asses of the guys in the locker room at school.
    Unbidden, Gabe’s beautiful, hard, muscular bottom crept into Todd’s visionings again, took over the picture of Joan and—Oh! his dick felt good. Slick and— Oh oh oh! His legs started to tremble, and Christ! He was cumming hard, shooting in jets so strong he could feel it through the surface of his cock. He bit down on his lower lip, afraid he’d scream, because shower going or not, surely Gabe would be knocking on the door and asking if he was all right. Spots swirled before his eyes, and he marveled at the pleasure that rocked through him. Only when he finally came down, somehow not falling down while doing it, did Todd realize how he’d been thinking about Gabe’s butt.
    God. God, no.
Am I a fag after all?
It just wasn’t fair. Not with everything else. Not fair at all.
    Sleep didn’t come easy. All he could think about was that he was lying on this couch and a man who wanted him was just down the hall. The thought scared the shit out of him. And yet in no time, he was hard again thinking about it.
    ( “You a faggot or something?” )
Am I? Am I queer?
( “The word is ‘gay’.” )
Gay .
Todd tossed and turned, and after a while, he finally fell asleep. In his dream, he was walking silently down the hall. It seemed as
    long as a football field. On the way, he was passing other doors he recognized. Doors that shouldn’t be in that hall. The door to his mom’s room. The door to his stepfather’s. Joan’s bedroom door. Christ, was that Austin’s basement? There was the door to his own room at