The Case of the Bone-Stalking Monster by John R. Erickson Read Free Book Online Page A

the womenfolk.”
    â€œOh good. Can I watch?”
    â€œSure. Watch and take notes. You might as well learn from one of the best in the business.”
    I left him there with his big ears and made my way around to the second pickup. Before I got there, I slowed my pace to a manly swagger and let my eyes drift up to the . . .
    Mercy! She was a beagle, surely one of the most gorgeous beagles ever to draw a breath. She was looking into the rear glass of the pickup and primping on her face. When I came into view, she saw me in the glass.
    â€œWell, well!” she gushed in a sultry voice. “Mir­ror mirror on the wall, look who’s coming, big and tall! Hello there, big boy.”
    I sat down and beamed her a rakish smile. And then, in my deepest, most malodorous voice, I said, “Howdy, ma’am. Unless these eyes deceive me, you are the lovely Miss Scamper.”
    She fluffed up her ears, then turned and came floating over to the tailgate, wearing a foxy little smile. She fluttered her . . . mercy me, she fluttered those long eyelashes and I almost forgot to breathe.
    â€œYou’re pretty cute yourself, Wolfie. Do we have a name for you?”
    â€œOh yes ma’am. Hank the Cowbell . . . er, Hank the Cowdog, Head of Ranch Security, at your service, ma’am.”
    â€œOooo. Are we a pretty important dog, is that what we’re saying?”
    â€œWell, I’m not one to broast or bag . . . boast or brag, that is, but it’s been said that, yes, I’m a fairly important dog.”
    She studied the claws on her right front paw. “Are we merely important or are we also rich?”
    â€œHa, ha. Funny that you should ask. As a matter of fact, I recently made a huge fortune in the bone market.”
    One eyebrow twitched. “Oooo. Little fortunes don’t thrill me, but I can be impressed by huge ones.”
    â€œWell, I’ve got one. I also write poetry, speak many languages, and do tricks.”
    â€œYou’re a busy little fellow, aren’t you? So what’s causing all the dust?”
    â€œHuh? Dust?” It was then that I noticed the small cloud of dust that had risen around us. “Oh, the dust. My best guess, Miss Scamper, is that you’ve caused my tail to wag extra hard, and it’s kicking up a, uh, small cloud of dust . . . so, to speak.”
    She coughed. “That’s a pretty smart tail, but maybe we could slow it down, now that we’re friends.”
    â€œSure, you bet.” I punched in the commands for Relaxed Tail. It didn’t work. I shot a glance at Miss Scamper.
    She was fanning the air with a paw. “It keeps wagging, doesn’t it?”
    â€œUh, yes ma’am, so it seems. It’s been a while since we’ve had a gorgeous lady on the ranch, don’t you see, and the old tail just . . . ha ha, wants to wag, I guess.”
    She coughed again and gave me a frozen smile. “Maybe we should do a trick.”
    â€œRight. Just what I was thinking. Okay, check this one out.” I stood up and walked a short distance away, loosened up my enormous shoulder muscles, and prepared for the trick. “Now watch. Bang!”
    I fell to the ground and played dead. I laid there for fifteen seconds and didn’t even breathe, then leaped to my feet and took a bow.
    â€œPretty impressive, huh? I’ll bet you thought I was really dead.”
    â€œI was almost worried sick.”
    â€œGreat. You want to see another one?”
    â€œIf you’ve got the money, honey, I’ve got the time.”
    â€œYou’re covered. Watch this one.” I hopped up on my back legs and walked around in a circle. Then, before her very eyes, I shifted to only one leg.
    Fellers, that was a toughie. To be honest about it, I had never attempted it before, and I’m not sure that any dog in the whole world had ever attempted it. It was that difficult a trick.
    I shot her a glance and noticed that her eyes had