The Cement Garden by Ian McEwan Read Free Book Online Page B

Finally I went and stood by the window, yawning frequently. I had homework to do but since the long summer holiday was about to begin I no longer cared. I was not even sure if I wanted to return to school in the autumn, and yet I had no plans to do anything else. Outside, Tom and another boy about his size pulled a large lorry tyre along the street till they were out of sight. The fact that they were dragging it along and not rolling it made me feel immensely weary.
    I was about to sit down at the table again when my mother called my name, and I went to sit on her bed. She smiled and touched my wrist. I moved my hand between my knees. I did not want to be touched, it was too hot.
    ‘What are you up to?’ she said.
    ‘Nothing,’ I told her through a sigh.
    ‘Fed up?’ I nodded. She tried to stroke me with her hand but I was sitting just out of her reach.
    ‘Let’s hope you can find yourself a job for the holidays, get yourself a little pocket money.’ I grunted ambiguously, and briefly turned my face towards her. Her eyes as always were sunk deep, and the skin around her eyes was dark and convoluted, as though it too were a seeing surface. Her hair was thinner and greyer, a few strands of it lay on the sheet. She wore a greyish-pink cardigan over her nightdress, and its sleeve bulged at the wrist because she kept her handkerchiefs tucked in there.
    ‘Sit a little nearer, Jack,’ she said. ‘There’s something I want to tell you and I don’t want the others to hear.’ I moved up the bed and she rested her hand on my forearm.
    A minute or two passed and she did not speak. I waited, a little bored, a little suspicious that she wanted to talk to me about my appearance or my squandered blood. If it was to be that, I was ready to walk away from the bed and out of the room. At last she said, ‘I might have to go away soon.’
    ‘Where?’ I said instantly.
    ‘To the hospital to give them a chance to get to the bottom of whatever it is I’ve got.’
    ‘How long for?’ She paused, and her eyes moved from mine and stared over my shoulder.
    ‘It might be quite a long time. That’s why I want to talk to you.’ I was more interested in how long she really meant, a sense of freedom was tugging at my concern. But she was saying, ‘It really means that Julie and you will have to be in charge.’
    ‘You mean Julie will.’ I was sullen.
    ‘Both of you,’ she said firmlv. ‘It’s not fair to leave it all to her.’
    ‘You tell her then,’ I said, ‘that I’m in charge too.’
    ‘The house must be run properly, Jack, and Tom has to be looked after. You’ve got to keep things clean and tidy otherwise you know what will happen.’
    ‘What?’
    ‘They’ll come and put Tom in care, and perhaps you and Susan too. Julie wouldn’t stay here by herself. So the house would stand empty, the word would get around and it wouldn’t be long before people would be breaking in, taking things, smashing everything up.’ She squeezed my arm and smiled. ‘And then when I came out of hospital there would be nothing for us all to come back to.’ I nodded. ‘I’ve opened an account at the post office for Julie, and money will get paid into it from my savings. There’s enough for you all for quite a while, easily enough till I come out of hospital.’ She settled back against the pillows and half closed her eyes. I stood up.
    ‘Okay,’ I said, ‘when do you go in?’
    ‘It might not be for a week or two yet,’ she said without opening her eyes. As I reached the door she said, ‘The sooner the better, I think.’
    ‘Yes.’ The different position of my voice made her open her eyes. I stood at the door, ready to leave. She said, ‘I’m tired of lying here doing nothing all day.’
    Three days later she was dead. Julie found her when she got in from school on Friday afternoon, the last day of the summer term. Sue had taken Tom swimming, and I arrived back minutes after Julie. As I turned down our front path I saw her