The Chance You Won't Return by Annie Cardi Read Free Book Online Page A

them.”
    “No, you haven’t. I haven’t failed a class before. I’m not a total idiot.” I wanted to believe this was the kind of exchange we had every day.
    She looked at me, bewildered. “I didn’t say that you were.”
    I picked up my backpack and slung it over my shoulder. “You know, you don’t have to see Mr. Kane today,” I said, hoping to make the meeting sound insignificant. “If you’re too tired or something.”
    Mom shook her head vehemently. “No, I’m fine. Don’t I look fine?” She reached for the notepad again and moved too quickly, knocking a glass of juice onto the floor. It shattered and juice pooled on the tiles. “Dammit,” Mom said. For a second, she looked as if she were going to cry.
    Mom pulled out the dustpan while I reached for larger shards of glass. From the living room, Katy shouted, “Alex, the bus!”
    “Go ahead,” Mom said. “I’ll be fine.”
    I frowned but there wasn’t enough time to argue. If Dad had talked to Mom earlier, he must have thought she was feeling all right; and as long as he would be there, too, the meeting couldn’t get too bad.
    Mom followed us to the door and waved as we ran across the yard. On the bus, I looked to our front door, hoping to catch a glimpse of her expression. But I was too far away, and all I could see was the vague outline of her face.
    During homeroom, Theresa complained about her parents’ recent announcement that they were going to spend Hanukkah at her uncle’s house in Colorado this year. Sitting in the back row, she ranted to me as she scratched stars into the cover of her French notebook.
    “It’s like, do we even know these people? They could be totally obnoxious. My mom barely talks to them, and anyway, it’s
her
brother, not mine. Why do I have to spend so much time with them? And my own
parents,
for God’s sake. Usually we only get together to light the damn candles.”
    At the front of the classroom, Mr. Pianci was reading the announcements — football game on Saturday, pep rally on Friday, lunch today was pizza. “Colorado’s supposed to be pretty,” I said.
    “Yeah, maybe I can make myself an igloo and hide out in it.”
    “Colorado’s a little south for that.”
    Theresa shivered. “It’s close enough. All of Hanukkah,” she said. “That is such a long time. Do you know how long Hanukkah is?”
    “Eight nights,” I said. “I live in the world.”
    Theresa half smiled, then rubbed her pen deeper into the cardboard so that a star filled with dark ink. “That’s practically all of winter break. It’s like a bad movie. They think we’re going to end up overcoming wacky obstacles and act like one of
those
families.”
    I didn’t know Theresa’s family very well. Whenever we went to her house, her parents were at work or a conference or a vineyard. At first I expected to see signs of a neglected child in her — confessions that she wished she saw more of her parents, acting out to get their attention — but she seemed fine with the setup.
    “So now I’m kind of trapped,” she said. “Can you just kidnap me or something?”
    She was joking, but I thought about Theresa coming over to my house now. How would I explain my mother poring over maps in the kitchen, planning a trip to nowhere? “Sure,” I said, trying to smile. “In fact, how about we just run away together?”
    Mr. Kane had agreed to meet with Mom and Dad during the third lunch period, when my parents could get away from work. While Theresa and everyone disappeared into the cafeteria, I waited at the front door for my parents’ cars to pull into the parking lot. Part of me hoped that Mr. Kane and my parents would come to the conclusion that I didn’t have to learn how to drive. Logically, I knew there was no reason to be afraid, that in such a small town it wasn’t likely I’d hit a lot of traffic, much less get into a major accident. But just the thought of sitting behind the wheel made me sick. I knew I couldn’t control