The Charioteer by Mary Renault Read Free Book Online Page B

at Oxford, lying on cushions and looking up at the leaves. Between the willow banks he saw Charles swimming toward him. “Come along,” said Charles, “the water’s absolute heaven. You know you can swim really.” “Perhaps I can,” Laurie told him, “but I don’t want to. It’s not allowed, I’m having an operation.”
    The theater trolley came squeaking up to the bed; the orderlies said, “What, you again? Watch after the towels, Sid,” and lifted him onto the cold, taut canvas. He was aware of it all but it couldn’t have mattered less. They went out through an unwalled covered way, roofed with iron, to the theater. Here was the anesthetic room with the awkward ledge in the doorway. The previous operation was still going on; one of the orderlies went, the other whistled between his teeth and looked out of the window. Captain Hodgkin, the anesthetist, came out masked and gowned, holding a big syringe. Laurie thrust out his arm.
    “Well, Odell, back again. How’s it been?”
    “Coming along, sir, thanks.”
    “Good. Clench your fist.”
    The vein inside the elbow corded and stood out. The needle went into it. “Count.”
    “One. Two. Three. Four.” Nothing was happening. “Five. Six.” Nothing. “Seven … Nine. …”
    The trolley beneath him ceased to be palpable. He floated, soared. The doors of a forgotten home opened to receive him.
    He was being lifted and put down. They were putting him on the table. They hadn’t given him enough, he wasn’t under; they would start to operate if he didn’t tell them now. He struggled with a sore throat and furred mouth. His knee felt sore; good God, they must have begun.
    “Hi.” It came out like an animal grunt.
    “All right,” said a girl’s voice. “Keep quiet. It’s all over.”
    He opened his eyes; he was back in bed. “Sorry,” he said. “Silly. Always do this. Awfully sorry. So damned silly.”
    “Sh-sh. Go to sleep again.”
    “Sorry to be so silly. Do excuse me.”
    “It’s all right, but you ought to be resting.”
    “Don’t worry about me. I know you, you’re the new one. So sorry to be a bother. What’s your name?”
    “Nurse Adrian. Don’t talk now.”
    “Goodnight”
    He shut his eyes, but opened them again.
    “Nurse.”
    “Yes?”
    “You’re staying with me, aren’t you? You won’t go?”
    “Not if you’re quiet and don’t get excited.”
    “No, really, Nurse. I’m not excited at all. I just think it’s so very good of you. I don’t deserve it, you know. If you knew all about me, you wouldn’t be good to me like you are.”
    “Hush, you’ve had an operation, you must keep quiet.”
    “I’m always having operations. I’m quite used to it. Don’t go back over there. I want to hold your hand.”
    “Sister says you’ve got to keep still.”
    “She doesn’t understand. You see, you see it’s important. You don’t think I’m like that, do you?”
    “Of course not, it’s just the anesthetic.”
    “Going through a phase is different, I mean people do. It isn’t anything. You never met Charles, did you?”
    “Please try and settle down.”
    “It was the people he knew, awful people you’d never have believed, it was that, really. Can I have some water?”
    “You’ve just had some. Only a sip.”
    “Thank you. There was a man at school, that would have been quite different, you may not understand that, but it would. But he had too high ideals, I can’t tell you now, it was all wrong the way they treated him, of course I never saw him again. So please don’t think I’ve ever done anything that would make you not want to sit here with me. You don’t, do you?”
    “Of course you haven’t. It’s only the ether upsetting you. Is your leg hurting much?”
    “It always hurts a bit. Just don’t think about it. I should like to kiss you and I think that speaks for itself, don’t you?”
    “You’re talking rather nonsense and it’s only making you tired.”
    “I suppose you wouldn’t kiss me,