a divorcee, raising a child as a single parent.
I wasn't like her.
Please don't tell me I was!
So, night after night I told myself that I was going to bring up the subject, and night after night I sidestepped chances to do so.
I was just plain afraid. That was the long and the short of it. I didn't want to risk losing this wonderful man by pushing too hard.
I was afraid if I insisted upon meeting, he would move on to someone new.
Someone who wasn't so pushy.
I ended up dropping a few veiled hints and that was as brave as I got.
But mine weren't the only veiled hints being dropped. It was incredible how some of our conversations effected me.
Yes, I know, I can be a horrible flirt sometimes, but really, who isn't?
Sometimes, I couldn't help myself. He practically would set me up. It was as if I were the comedienne, and he my straight man.
I won't lie either, we both got into it sometimes.
After all, we were both grown adults (oh my god, I hope he is a grown adult!!) and sometimes our conversations would go from friendly to downright HOT! It started out rather innocently.
A comment thrown in during a bland conversation, double meanings, sexual innuendo. But then it became not so veiled anymore.
Ok, go ahead and call it cybersex if you must.
But to me, it was more than words.
Sometimes sitting there in James's room (if you tell him I will hunt you down and kill you) reading the messages as they appeared before me, with him describing how it felt for his tongue to be sliding across, well, ok, we already opened up this can of worms, so I may as well not try and gloss over the good parts.
He had a wondrous way of describing things, that just made me shiver.
He would (with words) run his hands over my body, and as I read his descriptions, I could feel his warm hand, sliding over my breasts, could feel his fingers parting the lips of my pussy, his index finger dipping in to pull moisture up against my clit and press against it.
I could feel his tongue as it licked me, how his lips would suck against my clit, sliding up and down upon it, stroking it.
I had no idea that people did some of the things in real life he described to me in words.
************
WANTING...
I went to bed most nights, wet and yearning for fulfillment.
Damn good thing James was still at his fathers, or he would have heard my moans from down the hallway as I stroked myself to orgasm as I imagined myself in my internet lovers arms, leaning back against him, his arms around me, his fingers sliding over my clit, dipping into my now hot and aching cunt.
When James came home, I found myself frantic.
How would I stay in contact with my wonderful new friend.
James was online so much of the time, either researching homework (yeah right!!) or chatting with friends, I would never get a chance to sign on and find him waiting for me.
I was tempted to take James's computer out of his bedroom and move it to a central location.
That way I would at least get a turn when he went to bed. It might have worked except for the fact that I knew I would soon exhaust myself by staying up all night. There had to be a solution that would work.
I discussed it with Mark, (yes, by now I knew his name), and while he couldn't do more than commiserate with me over the computer dilemma, he did have a suggestion that we both got butterflies in our stomachs thinking about.
I was thrilled and terrified at the same time. It took quite a bit of beating around the bush for us to finally agree that one possible way for us to continue our relationship was to break down and become more like real people.
We decided to take our friendship up a notch and yes, I know, unthought of in this day and age, talk on the phone!
We agreed that he would call me to start with.
I waited on pins and needles for the phone to ring.
James had returned about 2 days earlier, and Mark and I thought it best to give me some down time with James.
It wasn't hard to be excited about him coming home.