meant, at all—
That mouth, that figure, that haunting smile . . .
Shit! I wanted a crocodile!
We cannot idealize the enemy!
Gimme that chisel—I’ll show you what I mean!
And you midgets over there—
get this woman out of here!
She may call this statue awful,
but to me it’s way WAY WAY too beautiful.
While Rita Tonga is being tied up and kicked to a patrol car, Fifo, furious, signs a report denouncing Rita—“the traitor!”—and defaces the statue so that it’s even more hideous than it was before.
Halisia and her troupe dance among the ruins of what was once the statue. At one point, Halisia, peeking through a hole in the statue, inspires such terror that even Fifo cringes in the arms of Raúl.
F IFO :
Yikes! Where’d that ugly thing come from?
R AÚL :
Oh, it’s just mad Halisia, hon,
and her Dance of Repudiation.
Not to worry, she’s one of the faithful—
while she dances she sings Fidel! Fidel!
F IFO :
There’s nothing more faithful than a statue,
the only thing that you can trust a secret to.
(You know, Raúl, I don’t even trust you!)
So since Halisia’s one of the elite
let’s give her a special Fifaronian treat—
a quick dip in a tubful of concrete!
There follows a fierce attempt to catch Halisia, who, in a series of blinding jetés, kicks Raúl in the belly. Then she leaps, in one bound, into the sea. In the water, she begins to dance the second act from Swan Lake. Under the pretext of saving Halisia, almost all her dancers throw themselves into the sea, but transformed suddenly into veritable swans themselves, they swim away at full speed, leaping like dolphins over the head of Avellaneda (further threatening the stability of her little boat) and arriving in K EY W EST , where they are met with cheers and huzzahs. Halisia, still dancing near the coast, is caught by Coco Salas and brought back.
F IFO : (to Raúl)
Wait—she’s no use to us petrified.
We need her to testify
against those speedboating vermin.
H ALISIA : (irate, defending her dancers)
Speedboats, nothing! They were swimmin’!
F IFO :
I know that, you ditzy dame,
but to save face we’ve got to claim
at the least that they were paddling!
(Jesus, I can feel my poor brains addling
from dealing with this crazy old hag—
not to mention my brother the fag.)
C HORUS : (singing one of Fifo’s anthems)
Our victory shall never be forgotten.
Onward marches the Revolution.
Give me a C, give me a U, give me a B, give me an A!
Cuba, Cuba—forever and a day!
While the hymn is sung over and over, the lights go up on Avellaneda, still sailing onward, and then turn slowly on K EY W EST . The giant movie screen is rolled down again, and on it appears Zebro Sardoya.
Z EBRO S ARDOYA : (on screen)
And now, ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce the poet Bastón Dacuero . . . And you know, folks, I think the old fellow’s in love—but it’s apparently unrequited. He keeps threatening to “die because he does not die.”
The screen goes dark and we see Bastón Dacuero on the stage in K EY W EST .
B ASTÓN D ACUERO :
I am a homeless wanderer
come to the seaside
to greet you when you arrive . . .
(The screen lights up again and Zebro Sardoya interrupts Bastón Dacuero:)
Z EBRO S ARDOYA :
And I’m here to see you sixty-nine,
you miserable panhandler.
(The screen goes dark behind Dacuero, who glares at it furiously but continues with his poem:)
B ASTÓN D ACUERO :
I am a homeless wanderer
wandering from park to park
to find a place to sleep . . .
(The screen lights up again.)
Z EBRO S ARDOYA :
A homeless wanderer, indeed, mister!
I know about all those checks
you used to get from Batista!
(The screen goes dark.)
B ASTÓN D ACUERO : (angrier and angrier, but trying to control himself )
Ay, Carolina, let’s
go to the country
to sate ourselves on delicacies . . .
Z EBRO S ARDOYA : (on the screen)
Delicacies! Oh, please!
You know you eat like a horse!
You can down fifteen chickens in the first course!
B
Catelynn Lowell, Tyler Baltierra