stupid and in need of charity or something, but I wasn’t. I was a straight-A student for God’s sake. I was the one who always helped out everyone else. What was happening to me?
The girls at my table gabbed about the boys in their classesand planned a trip into town for the weekend. I overheard the phrases “four-ply cashmere,” “so hot,” “new credit card.” They were stressed about nothing. I was stressed about a zillion and one various things of all shapes and sizes and urgencies.
And then I saw them. The Billings Girls had emerged from the lunch line and were walking down the aisle right toward us. Noelle led the way, with Kiran, Taylor, and Ariana trailing behind, her head bent as she read from her book. For the first time, I could see them up close and each was more perfect and beautiful than the last.
I held my breath as Noelle sauntered by, her eyes sliding over me and an amused smile playing around her lips. Kiran and Taylor chatted their way past and then came Ariana. She wore a white tank and a long, flowing aqua-colored skirt that grew darker in color from waist to foot. Around her neck was a sheer purple-and-lavender scarf, the ends of which hung down over her chest and grazed her stomach. I would have looked ridiculous in an outfit like that—like a kid playing dress up—but she belonged in those clothes. She brought with her an exotic scent that still somehow felt familiar. I was just trying to place it when she lowered the book, looked directly into my eyes, and said, “Oh. Hello.”
All her friends stopped. So did my heart.
“This is the girl I was telling you about,” Ariana said. She had the slightest of southern accents, so muted that it was as if she added it as an afterthought.
My empty stomach churned and I tasted bile in the back of my throat. I could feel the girls from my floor looking at one another.
“ Real ly?” Noelle crossed her arms over her chest and strode over to me, looking me up and down. A few other girls from Billings, those not of the four, stood back and glanced at one another quizzically. “You’re our peeping Tom?”
Missy bleated a laugh.
“I thought she’d be more butch,” Kiran said. Taylor laughed, then snorted, then covered her mouth with her hand. Kiran rolled her big, beautiful, perfectly lined eyes and smiled. At me.
“Don’t mind her. We’re still working out the kinks,” Noelle said. “What’s your name?”
“Reed,” I said.
“I’m Noelle. This is Kiran and Taylor and Ariana,” she said. I noticed that she did not bother to introduce any of the other girls from her dorm. So they were second string.
“Hi,” I said. They smiled. I was on top of the world.
“Now that you know who we are, maybe you can have a little respect and quit licking the glass.”
Laughter surrounded me and Noelle smirked at my now bloodless complexion. The Billings Girls smiled superiorly, looking at me with practiced condescension.
“Come on, you guys,” Noelle said, turning away. Kiran and Taylor fell in at her sides and they walked off together, like a moving wall. All the others followed—everyone except Ariana, who tilted her head apologetically, looking somewhere over my shoulder.
“Sorry,” she said. “Noelle can be a little blunt.”
“Yeah,” I managed to say.
She tucked her wispy hair behind her ear. Like me, she wore no jewelry or makeup, but still seemed more sophisticated than I ever would be. Her skin was so pale that I felt that if the sun from the skylight shifted, I’d be able to see right through her. For a moment she refocused her blue eyes directly on mine and I saw with perfect clarity that they were sad, even though she was smiling.
“Well, see you,” she said finally.
Then she turned her attention to her book again, and trailed off after her friends. Already I wondered if I had imagined the sorrow. Of course I had. What would a girl like her have to be sad about?
“Way to piss off the Billings Girls on your