The Contrary Tale of the Butterfly Girl: From the Peculiar Adventures of John Loveheart, Esq., Volume 2 by Ishbelle Bee Read Free Book Online Page A

named Maximilian, is subjected to the most vivid nightmares, and then, becoming possessed by a demonic force, murders everyone in a five mile radius. ”
    “ It sounds very interesting. Have you ever read A Dangerous Romance on the Moors ? Our acquaintance, the Reverend Plum, was very taken with it. ”
    “ I can ’ t say that I ’ ve heard of it, ” she says, thinking to herself. She throws a piece of cake to the dog, who sniffs it, and then devours it avidly. “ This is actually my first Medieval Horror Saga novel. I hope to complete a series of them. ” Her eyes wander to her shelf of colourful preserves. “ You must take some of my new batch of nettle and tomato chutney. It has hints of rosemary in it for protection against malicious gossip. ” She rises from her chair and starts to pour some of the gloopy constituents into a couple of jam jars, and then, twining a green ribbon into a bow round each of them, hands them to me.
    “ There you go , Pedrock. ”
    “ Thank you, Mrs Charm. We are to visit Lady Beetle, Mr Loveheart and the Professor. ”
    “ Mr Loveheart often drops in for a literary discussion. He is very fond of books and of my raspberry jam. Lovely man, with a theatrical dress sense. I am very fond of him. As for Mrs Beetle and her son Horatio, I ’ ve only met them a couple of times. Not chutney lovers. But polite enough. The Professor I have only heard of by reputation; he ’ s said to have a brilliant mind and has become a recluse. He ’ s obsessed with the Aztecs, you know. ”
    “ Sister Martha at the convent told us about the Aztecs. She said they performed human sacrifices and ate hearts. ”
    Boo Boo shouts, “ I want to eat a heart. ”
    “ Indeed? ” Mrs Charm raises an eyebrow.
    “ We have already met Mr Wormhole, and he seemed rather distracted. ”
    “ Yes, poor fellow, I am sure that some great tragedy has befallen him in the past. Or perhaps some misalignment with the hemispheres of the brain. His sermons are notoriously appalling. I have been trying to help him with his stage presence and speech deliverance. ”
    We stay with her for an hour and she tells us about her life as a Shakespearean actress in London. Her most memorable role was as Queen Titania playing opposite a drunk Oberon who fell off the stage and was carried back on by the fairies. Improvisation, she says, is the key to great acting.
    We wave goodbye and make our way along the long winding path to the Beetle Estate, the bees swarming over a great heap of crimson roses that grow in a mass by the lakeside. Boo Boo tries to pull some out and cuts her hands on the thorns, examining the blood curiously and then licking it. There is a rustling from the bushes, the roses waggle about and Mr Loveheart appears, grinning, thankfully not holding a head. He is dressed this time in peacock blue. His hair is sticking up on end rather messily.
    “ Hello again. We haven ’ t been properly introduced. I am Mr Loveheart, ” he says.
    “ My name is Pedrock and this is my sister Boo Boo. ”
    Boo Boo steps forward and shakes his hand. “ You are the funny man with the head. ”
    “ Yes, I am, ” and he bows very low, winking at my sister. Then we hear a shotgun go off and men shouting, “ COME BACK HERE , YOU LUNATIC! ”
    “ If you ’ ll excuse me, some locals are trying to shoot me, ” and he scampers off back into the bushes.
    “ Goodbye. Nice to have met you, ” I call out.
    “ I like him, ” says Boo Boo.
    The Beetle residence is a grand, cream-coloured house with a very tidy lawn that stretches to the rim of the lake. It is serene, if a little characterless. The manservant escorts us to the garden where Lady Beetle sits under a large, pink, lacy parasol, writing what appear to be invitations. The manservant introduces us and Lady Beetle looks up from under her parasol, inspecting us. She has dark little eyes and is quite pretty. She hands me an envelope.
    “ Please give this to your Uncle. We ’ re having