The Corpse in the Cellar by Kel Richards Read Free Book Online Page B

the same, they’re not identical. In fact, it would be pointless to write down that one hundred equals one hundred. The whole point of the notion of “equals” is that two things are unalike yet equal.’
    â€˜I’m no better at numbers than you are, Jack,’ I protested. ‘So forget mathematics. In fact, I suspect that once you move outside of mathematics you won’t find a single example of “equal but different”—since that is an expression that makes no sense.’
    â€˜It makes every sense in the world, young Morris. Picture a set of scales, an old-fashioned set of balances, with a pound of lead on one tray balanced by a pound of wheat on the other. You can see that picture, can’t you? On one side a bag containing a pound of wheat seeds and on the other a bar of lead. Both weigh one pound. The scales are perfectly balanced because they’re equal. But they’re certainly not alike: one is mineral, the other is organic, one can be planted and grow, the other can’t, one can be turned into food, the other can’t . . . ’
    â€˜No need to go on—I see the point. But that’s an aberration. In most cases “equal” means “identical”. In human affairs, for instance—’
    At which point Warnie interrupted to say, ‘I can think of another example, old chap.’
    Jack went back to finishing his pork pie and I turned to Warnie. ‘Go on.’
    â€˜Two chaps I know in my regiment—Ted and Alf. Thoroughly nice chaps, both of them. As it happens they joined the army on the same day . . . I’ve heard them say it in the mess more than once. Both have the same rank—they’re both majors, like me. And they both have the same length of service, and the same pay and benefits. Absolutely equal in every respect. But they’re not interchangeable. Ted is an army surgeon and Alf is an army engineer. Isn’t that Jack’s point, old chap? Equal but different?’
    Jack had finished his pork pie and was sweeping up some crumbs with his napkin. He chuckled and said, ‘Warnie made my point better than I could. There would never be any reason to put an equals sign between two things, or people, that were identical. We only use the word “equal” to indicate that these two things or people that are different are of equal weight in the scheme of things.’
    He paused to take a deep draught from his pint. ‘So,’ I said, gathering my thoughts, ‘you’re claiming that even if we say every way of looking at the world is to be given equal respect and consideration, we’re not bound to think they’re all the same or have the same explanatory value, hence “equal” doesn’t mean they’re all true.’
    Jack set his glass back down on the table and said, ‘Precisely. And the next step is that it can’t be just a matter of what suits you. That’s relativism, and relativism kills rationality—’
    Before Jack could finish what he was about to say we were interrupted.
    â€˜I have it!’ cried Warnie, his voice vibrating with discovery.
    Jack and I both turned to look at him. ‘Have what?’ I asked.
    â€˜I know who murdered Franklin Grimm!’
    We looked at him expectantly.
    â€˜It was Boris,’ he said. ‘You know, the ghost of the butchered footman. Today is the anniversary of his slaughter, so he was due to reappear. And he did—and murdered the bank teller.’ Having delivered this pronouncement, Warnie sat back with a satisfied grin on his face.

SEVEN

    A stunned silence followed Warnie’s pronouncement. Jack and I both stared at him while Warnie finished off the last of his pint oblivious to our amazement.
    â€˜In other words,’ Jack said to his brother, ‘We’re not caught up in an Agatha Christie murder story but in an M. R. James ghost story? Or a macabre tale by Edgar Allan