The Crimes and Punishments of Miss Payne by Barry Jonsberg Read Free Book Online Page A

biggest dog I had ever seen in my life. I mean, this thing was
huge.
And it looked as bad-tempered as hell. So would I if I had to share living space with the Pitbull. Even so, this was clearly a dog with limited things on its mind. Like ripping people to shreds, for example. It strained at the lead as if anxious to find someone in need of shredding, its bulging muscles gleaming in the porch light. By now, the evening had settled and the dark was profound. There was nothing behind us except a sports oval and I knew that from the Pitbull's point of view we would have been lost in the gloom beneath the tree. I was worried about the dog, though. Maybe it would smell us. Hell, the way I was sweating, Miss Payne could have smelled me. I nudged slightly closer to Kiffo as the Pitbull struggled with the gate. The dog was so keen to get out for a walk that it nearly pulled her arm through the chain links. I smiled as Miss Payne swore, but the smile froze on my lips when she smacked the dog around the head with one huge fist. The poor old pooch damn near collapsed. You could see the stars circling around its head. Now, this dog looked like it could savage and eat an entire army battalion and still have room for dessert, but it was clear who was the boss in the household. The dog whined and cowered as the Pitbull raised her voice.
    “Down, Slasher, down. Blast you.”
    Slasher! Talk about the pot calling the kettle black. I felthugely sorry for the hound then. Even though it was as big as a truck, it stood no chance against the Pitbull. I knew how it felt. Kiffo and I crouched together and watched as the two brutes thundered down the road. The last I saw of the dog was when it bulldozed around a corner, under a streetlight, almost leaving gouges in the pavement. Kiffo had been cupping his cigarette in his hand, shielding the glow. Now he took a final drag and threw the butt onto the road. He stood up and pulled the balaclava over his head. Normally I would have considered this a blessing. Kiffo's face was not exactly a thing of beauty and a joy forever. But now there was something extremely menacing about him. I felt scared. Of him, of the dark, of what we were about to do. I wanted to turn and run, but it was too late. Kiffo pulled me closer to him and whispered urgently.
    “Keep an eye out. I'll be ten minutes, tops.”
    And he was gone. He slipped into the dark and across the road and was through the Pitbull's gate before I could say anything. I caught a quick glimpse of his small figure as it moved around the side of the house. I realized that I had been holding my breath and I let it go in a long, slow exhalation.
    To be honest, I was panicking. It might sound like an easy job, just standing under a tree looking around, but I felt the eyes of the world upon me. What would I do if a police car pulled up? What excuse would I have for standing under a casuarina tree in a quiet residential area? I know it's not a crime, but it's a strange thing to do, isn't it? I tried to get farther into the shadow, but I was also conscious that I needed a clear view of the road both ways. I was starting to wish I hadput on a different pair of glasses. Were these ones luminous? I couldn't remember, but they certainly felt like they were glowing. I could imagine curious neighbors ringing the police and saying, “Please come at once. The casuarina tree across the road is wearing glasses and it's starting to spook me.”
    I needed to empty my bladder as well. Could I risk it here? Knowing my luck, I'd be caught with my knickers around my ankles and that
would
be a hard one to explain away. I swiveled my eyes from one side of the street to the other. The least movement made my head snap around. I was starting to get dizzy and I felt sick. How long was he going to be in there? I glanced at my watch and saw that he had been gone for exactly a minute! The whole concept of time was messing my head up.
    And then I froze. I couldn't believe it. Around the