The Daughter in Law by Jordan Silver Read Free Book Online

from which to protect the
pregnant lady.
    “Who, what?”
    “Your twisted chromosome of an incubator, I think I’ll move
in with her. At least I know her brand of crazy, yours is freaking me out.” He
got a hurt look on his face that lasted all of two seconds.
    “Cute, but here’s the deal. You, get to carry him or her, I
have no control over what goes on inside there even though he or she is mine.
So whatever I have to do from out here to ensure their safety will be done and
you will follow orders.”

 
    This fool is having an out of body
or some shit. I sat there for literally forty-five minutes while he went down a
list of my new dos and don’ts. It was only half way through that I realized he
was scared shitless. How did I figure this out? he knelt down in front of me and with the sweetest look on his face, placed his
big hand over my tummy and said, ‘I don’t want anything to happen to either of
you, you’re my whole world’. Of course I started crying and he started worrying
about why I was crying.

 
    Needless to say the weekend did not
turn out the way I expected it to; it was better. After he got over
his…whatever the hell that was that he’d gone through, I’d got him to calm down
just a little. There was no real service up here so I didn’t have the Google
monster to help me teach him some of what he needed to know. But when I
reminded him that women had been carrying and birthing babies for a few
thousand years now no problem, he seemed to snap out of it. A little.

 
    The sex was phenomenal. Of course
the crazy man thought he had to take it slow, so that’s how the forty or so encounters
we had that weekend started out. But just as he started getting into the groove
of things, I’d whisper something about his big cock breeding me in his ear, and
his dick would take over. Best freaking sex in the world ; I got the tender, sweet, ‘if I touch you too hard you might break’ loving,
along with the jack hammering that my coochie craved. Win-win.

 
 
 
    Now we’re back home. Nothing looked
disturbed this time thank fuck. I guess the crackpot found another outlet for
her psychosis. I found out what that was when I hit the replay button on the
voicemail. “Oh shit on a stick.” Who the fuck leaves someone over fifty
messages in one weekend? I didn’t even know these things could hold that many
messages.
    “Babe turn that off, we’re not doing that shit today.”
    “But there could be an emergency.” My ass, I just want to
listen to her level of insanity as the calls go by.
    “Tough, let’s go, you need to relax after that long drive.”

 
    “Hey, do you
plan on treating me like I’ve somehow lost all my faculties this whole
pregnancy? Because you know pregnant does not mean invalid. It means I am woman
hear me roar, because obviously pansy ass men couldn’t do the job so us girls
had to get ‘ er done. So please stop with your brain
fart ideas.”
    “What’s that you’re eating? Give me
that.” He snatched my candy bar and walked into the kitchen for a banana. “Here
have this, it’s better for you.” I’m gonna kill that Siri bitch. All the way home I had to listen to her smarmy
ass as he asked her dumb-fuck questions about what was best for me. This had to
stop; I knew I should’ve checked that cray-cray gene.

 
    I finally
snuck away and called mom while in the bathroom taking a bath in the lukewarm
water that was all I was allowed by Hitler. I was wondering when he would show
up seeing as how momsie is Mengele personified, can’t
have one without the other. “Mom I’ve got news but it’s twofold and I have to
talk fast. First we’re pregnant…” Eardrums mom eardrums.
    “You little shit, did you know
while we were there?”
    “Yeah but the timing was all wrong. Anyway you’re gonna have
to celebrate impending baby mooching later I have a problem.”
    “What kinda problem sweetie your witch in flaw again? by the way your husband rocks.”
    “No