The Dead-Tossed Waves by Carrie Ryan Read Free Book Online Page B

had seen it too. I thought she knew.
    Her eyes bore into mine.
    “I don’t know,” I finally say. I can’t bring myself to even form the words of the truth.
    I watch as her face dims, as if the last lights of hope are blinking out. Already resignation has settled in deep lines around her mouth. “But I thought he went with you.”
    I see my old friend in her eyes. I see the same hesitation that I feel—the vulnerability. But it’s the last tendrils of hope I hear that hurts the most. I don’t want to be the one to tell her about her brother, and yet I realize she deserves to know. I might have run from everything else but I can’t run from this.
    “Catcher was …” I swallow. “He was bitten. I thought you saw.”
    Her skin, already pale, becomes ghostly. As if she herself has Returned. She runs her tongue over her lips, wetting the cracks. “But he wasn’t there when they came and got us. You’re wrong, he must still be alive. He must be out there. Maybe he’s hurt. You’re wrong!” She raises her voice and the others in the cage step forward like a wall surrounding her.
    I see the way they look at me. As if I’m the betrayer.
    “I saw the bite marks,” I whisper.
    “But maybe that’s not what it was,” she counters. “It couldhave been a scratch. He can’t be infected. He can’t!” She notices that people are watching us now and she lowers her voice. “You have to find him. There’s something wrong. You have to go find him.”
    I step away, shocked. “You want me to go back there?” I ask, my eyes wide.
    She nods, her mouth a tight white line in her face.
    The thought of returning to the Barrier, of climbing over it again, makes my heart seize with panic. “But I can’t,” I tell her. “Not after …” I let my voice trail off. “What could I even do for him if I found him?” I protest.
    “You can make sure he’s okay,” Cira hisses. “You can be there with him and help him if he’s hurt. You can—”
    I’m shaking my head, my hands trembling, and Blane steps forward and grabs my wrist through the bars, cutting Cira off.
    “What?” Blane says. “You’re willing to climb the fence for a good time but not for a friend?” The others grumble assent behind her. “Useless,” she adds, throwing up a hand in my face, “we should’ve told them about you when we had the chance.” She pauses, raising one eyebrow as the corner of her mouth tilts up. “I guess we still could,” she adds.
    I glance at Cira and see the hesitation on her face. As if she believes Blane. I start to feel sick. This can’t be my only option. I grab at her hands. “I can’t do it, Cira,” I whisper. “I can’t.” Even to my own ears the desperation in my voice is clear, pitched high and cracking.
    I feel the crushing press of panic again and I don’t know what to do. I can barely breathe with it. Spots of color explode in front of my eyes.
    Blane reaches through the bars and grabs my wrist again,her nails digging into the tender white flesh as she pulls my grip from Cira. I focus on her, the edges of her hair blurring like a halo.
    “You find her brother,” she says through her teeth. “You find Catcher or else you’re useless out there and there’s no reason why you shouldn’t be in here with the rest of us.”
    I think about them telling my mother I went beyond the Barrier. Telling the Chairman. For lying, for putting everyone around me at risk, my punishment would be worse than just being sent to the Recruiters for a couple of years.
    My mother would know that I lied. She would never trust me again. I close my eyes, not wanting to imagine the repercussions and disappointments. I realize that I have no choice. I either go find Catcher or they’ll turn me in.
    “I’ll go look for him,” I whisper, ashamed that it takes such a threat to get me to take action.
    Cira’s shoulders relax a little and Blane drops my wrist. “You better find him,” she growls.
    I wait for Cira to defend