The Dearly Departed by Elinor Lipman Read Free Book Online Page A

promise—”
    â€œNo promises,” he yelled, followed by a muffled, “Ouch. Shit.”
    â€œWhat’s the matter?”
    â€œNothing!”
    â€œI heard you say ouch.”
    â€œI’m a little sore. It’s nothing. Just go. I’ll call you tomorrow. And stop making decisions about police matters. Nobody swore you in as my deputy.”
    There was silence beyond the bathroom. Joey opened the door.
    His mother’s face brightened. “Should I strip the bed?” she asked.

    The hospital operator said that Chief Loach’s condition was not a matter of public record. Could she have the name of the caller?
    â€œSunny Batten.”
    The operator gasped, then introduced herself as Danielle Thibault’s sister Celeste, two years ahead of Sunny in high school.
So
sorry for her loss. Every time she picked up the newspaper, it seemed, there was a tragic headline about someone she knew. Oops. Hold on.
    Celeste returned. “Everyone’s calling about him since it was on the news.”
    â€œYou can’t say if he’s still there?”
    Celeste paused. “I’m not supposed to. And get this: That’s a direct order from the
FBI:
‘If anyone calls asking about Chief Loach’s condition, take down his name.’ ” Celeste’s tone grew conspiratorial. “A couple of women didn’t leave their names, but I knew exactly who they were.”
    â€œWho?”
    â€œOld girlfriends of his! Linda LaDue, Patty Timmins, for sure. Or it could have been her sister. They sound the same.”
    After a moment Sunny said, “I did see him on the news, but I’m calling for official reasons.”
    â€œCall him at the station. He should be back by now. Or run over there. Where are you calling from?”
    â€œKing’s Nite.”
    â€œThe office phone or the pay phone?”
    â€œPay phone.”
    â€œIs there a light on in the front of the station—I mean, not just the porch light, but inside?”
    Sunny turned and looked.
    â€œDoesn’t matter. He’s there. Just walk over. The front door’ll be open. If he’s snoozing in the back, ring the bell on his desk. How long are you up here for?”
    Sunny said, “Until I figure out where to go next.”
    â€œAny chance you’d stay?”
    â€œFirst I need a job,” said Sunny.
    â€œLike what?”
    â€œA change,” said Sunny. “I was teaching, which I sort of fell into. I think I might try something a little more exciting.”
    â€œWe have openings here,” said Celeste. “In fact they just posted ‘Inpatient Pharmacy Technician.’ Heather Machonski’s taking maternity leave. Do you want me to pick you up an application?”
    â€œNot just yet,” said Sunny.
    â€œYou probably want something out of doors, right? You were the big tennis player.”
    â€œGolf,” said Sunny.
    â€œI’d try the summer camps,” said Celeste. “Maybe they have camps for golfers—there’s one for everything else.”
    â€œMaybe when my head is clearer,” said Sunny.
    â€œGotta get this. You stay strong, okay? Call me if you want to bounce any job ideas off me. In any event, I’ll see you tomorrow.”
    â€œTomorrow?” Sunny repeated.
    â€œYour wake, hon,” said Celeste.

    â€œKeep it on,” said Sunny as Chief Loach snapped off the television and jumped to his feet. “Joe—it’s me, Sunny. I made it back just in time to hear you were shot.”
    â€œShot
at,
” he said. “The bullets bounced off me.” He banged a fist against his ribs. “Kryptonite.” He winced. “More or less.”
    â€œNo damage?”
    â€œPlenty,” he said. “I’m black-and-blue like I was worked over by an angry mob.”
    â€œShould you be back at work so soon?”
    â€œI’m it. There’s no one else.”
    â€œWhen do you