this soon after the fire. I shake my head. "I don't think that would be a great idea."
She seems to understand. “Then I'll send word as soon as Peree is back."
I reach for her hands. "Thank you."
"Of course. I'm here for you, Fennel."
Her words sound like an apology for all the times she
wasn't
here for me. I can't afford to think like that, though. Kadee's the only parent I have left.
I shuffle toward the main cavern, dragging one of the heavy sacks of water behind me. The others sit inside the entrance, waiting to be brought in. The fire in the cave is out, but thick smoke chokes the air, and me in turn, as I move through the passageway.
The flicker of torches and echo of muttering voices bring the interminable days in the caves back to me with alarming clarity. The sick ones can't stay as long this time. They can't. There's no chance my people will survive that. And I have doubts about my own ability to go back to the routine of gathering the water for them every day.
"Look who finally showed up? Our little Fenn."
I stiffen at the sound of Moray’s voice. I won't let him get the best of me again. I hear voices nearby, but I don't entirely relax.
"What do you want?" I ask.
"Nothing. Nothing at all." His voice is an aggravating concoction of concern and pure taunt. Why does he always have to sound like he's mocking me? It brings out the false bravado in me, which I hate.
I push past him. "There's more water sacks by the entrance to the caves. Make yourself useful and bring them in."
He steps in front of me. "Why don't I take this one for you instead? You look tired; you've got dark circles and everything." His blunt fingers skim under my eyes.
I smack his hand away and step back, almost tripping over the sack I'm dragging. "Don't touch me."
"Aw, c'mon, Fenn. Don't be like that. We're supposed to forgive each other, right? I forgive you for biting the hell out of my tongue. Now it's your turn."
Again he sounds genuine, like he thinks a simple apology will make me forget he tried to kill me. I take another big step away from him, fully aware I'm being driven back toward the dark, empty passageway.
My hands clench the neck of the sack. "Get out of my way, Moray."
"You heard her. Back off." Bear's voice, rumbling from behind Moray, is a welcome sound.
"Don't get all worked up, hero. I'm having a chat with my new friend."
"I'm not your friend," I say. "Go away."
Bear comes to my side. "Here, Fenn, I'll take that water."
"I've got it," Moray says. He takes the sack from my hand.
"What's he up to?" I mutter, after Moray saunters off.
"Who knows?” Bear says. “But I'll give you the advice you gave me once. Stay away from him."
"My pleasure. Hey, there are more sacks where that came from. Can you get some help to bring them in? I need to talk to the Three and find out what else I need to go fetch."
Bear takes my arm. "Fenn, wait. There's something you should know."
I stop cold. "What?"
"Fennel . . . I'm so sorry. I thought he was with me." Acacia, usually difficult to tell apart from Calli because their voices are so similar, sounds distraught. "I was collecting the younger children and I assumed he would follow us back to the caves. But when I turned around . . . he wasn't there."
"Wait . . . who?" I have a bad feeling I already know.
"We were washing up down at the water hole, when we heard the flesh-eaters coming. I had several of the younger children, and I thought Eland was with us. I never would have left him behind, Fennel, you know that . . ." Her voice fades as blood pounds in my head.
"No. Not Eland. Not . Eland ." I turn and bolt back through the passage to the cave mouth, my hand bouncing painfully along the wall, panic snapping at my heels.
Bear follows, calling my name. As the cave opens up to the outside, I hear the sick ones. Their groans and shrieks fill the air. It's impossible to think of Eland among them. Or as one of them.
Maybe he found somewhere to hide. Maybe knowing I