The Dialogue of the Dogs by Miguel de Cervantes Read Free Book Online Page A

it.
    Berganza
: I remember when I was studying, I heard an instructor recite a Latin proverb, which they called an apothegm, that went,
Habet bovem in lingua
.
    Scipio
: Oh, out comes the Latin! Have you already forgotten what we just said about everybody who shoehorns Latin into everyday conversation?
    Berganza
: But the Latin fits perfectly here. You must know that the Athenians used to have a coin stampedwith the figure of an ox. When some judge blew a case because he’d been bribed, they’d say he had an ox on his tongue.
    Scipio
: And what does that have to do with anything?
    Berganza
: Isn’t it clear that the bribes of the slave girl made me mute for days on end, and that, when she went down to see her beloved African, I couldn’t bring myself to bark? As I said, gifts can do a lot.
    Scipio
: I just agreed that they do. If it weren’t going to take us even longer, I’d give you a thousand examples of how much gifts can do. Maybe I will, if I ever get a word in edgewise.
    Berganza
: God grant what you desire. Now listen. In the end, my good faith won out over the evil gifts of the slave girl. One inky night, as she was coming down for her usual pastime, I went after her without barking, so as not to disturb the household, and in an instant I tore her shift to shreds and gouged her thigh. That little maneuver sufficed to keep her bedridden for more than a week, faking I don’t know what illness for her masters. She healed up, returned another night, and I tangled with the bitch again. Without biting her, I clawed her all over as if I were carding a fleece. Our battles were silent. I always emerged the victor and the slave girl slunk off, checked and grouchy.
    But her fury took its toll on my coat, and my health.She discontinued my ration and the soup bones, and little by little you could make out the knobs of my spine. Nevertheless, though they kept me from eating, they couldn’t keep me from barking. So the slave girl, to finish me off once and for all, served me a sponge fried in lard.
    I knew her wickedness for what it was. I saw that the sponge was worse than poison, because the stomach of anybody who ate it would swell up till it carried him off. Since it seemed impossible to guard against the trickery of such sworn enemies, I decided to make tracks, and steal away right under their very eyes.
    One day I found myself unchained, and without saying goodbye to anyone in the house, I stepped out into the street. In less than a hundred steps, luck had brought me to the constable I mentioned at the start of my story, who was a great friend of my old master Nicky Flatnose. No sooner had he seen me than he recognized me and called my name. I greeted him too, answering his call with the accustomed show of caresses. He took me by the collar and said to his two deputies, “This is the famous watchdog who belonged to a great friend of mine. Let’s take him home.” The deputies approved, and said if I proved helpful to them, they’d vouch for me. They wanted to put me on a leash, but my new master said it wasn’t necessary, that I would follow along without one because I knew him.
    I’ve forgotten to tell you that a gypsy in a bar had taken off my collar with the oiled spikes, the one I’dtaken with me when I retired from the shepherd’s life. I was already walking around without it, so the constable put a collar worked in Moorish leather on me instead. Consider, Scipio, the revolving wheel of my fortunes: yesterday a student, today a deputy.
    Scipio
: That’s just the way of the world. It won’t do to go exaggerating the inequities of fate, as if there were really all that much difference between carrying a badge or a basket of scraps. I can’t stand listening to guys complain about bad luck when all they ever wanted out of life was to luck into an easy living. The whining, the tantrums they throw! You know they do! And all so somebody listening will think that only a bad break could’ve shanghaied them from