farce. I rattled off the address printed on the statement, tapping my pencil eraser as I did.
“Very good,” said the voice, sounding possibly less bored than she was earlier. “Now, for further security purposes, can you please verify the last four digits of the social security number.”
“Sure,” I said, my pencil freezing in midair.
“Okay.” Silence on the other end.
“Go ahead.”
“I’m sorry. Go ahead with what?”
“Give me the digits and I’ll verify if they’re the correct ones.” My palms were getting sweaty, and my pigtails were itching.
“Ah, ma’am. I’m afraid I can’t do that. In order for us to proceed, I will need you to give me the last four digits of the social security number associated with this account.”
“I don’t feel comfortable with that,” I said. I was starting to tire of this woman.
“Well then I’m afraid I can’t help you. I need to confirm that this is indeed Veronica McDonald I am speaking to.”
“But I’ve already confirmed that it is I. Why would I be calling about Veronica McDonald’s account if I wasn’t Veronica McDonald? What possible motivation would I have to dispute charges on an account other than my own?”
I heard a click. For a moment I thought that bitch might’ve hung up on me. “Hello?” I said firmly, half hoping that she was gone.
“Yes, ma’am. I’m sorry. I’m afraid I cannot proceed with this inquiry at this time. Perhaps you can call back another time when you have…”
“Let me speak to a supervisor. This is an outrage! First you people allow dozens of fraudulent charges to appear on my account, then you refuse to help me rectify the situation.” I could do this. I was totally channeling my boss of just a few hours. I was a natural at this shit.
“Please hold.” The music was back, but this time I found myself humming along while I waited. Veronica’s door opened and she poked her head out. I gave her the thumbs up and pointed to the phone and she disappeared again.
“This is Alexander Remington. Is this Veronica McDonald I am speaking to?”
“Hello Alexander,” I purred. His voice was very sexy indeed. “Yes, this is Veronica. And how are you today?”
“I am just fine, ma’am. I understand that you are unable to give us the last four digits of your social security number. Is that correct?”
“No that is not exactly accurate. You see, Alexander, I do not ever give my personal information out over the phone. I was once the victim of identity theft, you see, and since then, I am vigilant about keeping myself secure. In addition to that, I own a very high profile law firm and I have made quite a few enemies over the years. Let’s just say there are people out there who would stop at nothing to ruin me. Or worse.”
There was a long pause on the other end. Either Alexander had fallen asleep, or he was conflicted about helping me.
“I’m sorry to hear that ma’am.”
“Yes,” I let out a long-suffering sign for dramatic effect. “It can be difficult at times, but I take the necessary precautions and carry on.”
There was tapping on Alexander’s side. “Mary here tells me you had a couple of charges to dispute. How about you tell me what the charges are, and I’ll see if I can help you?”
“Finally. Yes, thank you.” I leafed through the statements and my face fell as I got a good look at them for the first time. All the “fraudulent” charges Veronica had asked me to dispute seemed completely legitimate. They were charges from local restaurants that I recognized, a small charge for a movie theatre down the road, and several from the Coach outlet two towns over. I had just that morning commented on how much I loved the satchel and matching carry-on suitcase I’d seen in Veronica’s office.
Then there were late fees and service charges, all highlighted of course. She was even disputing the annual fee for having the card. Everyone knew you had to pay the annual fee!
“Ms. McDonald,