The Egg Code by Mike Heppner Read Free Book Online Page B

my own. I’m a little young to be writing a memoir.
    B HASSE: What is it, twenty-three?
    D STIESSEN: Twenty-five.
    B HASSE: Okay. Well, that’s still okay.
    D STIESSEN: Turned twenty-five back in January.
    B HASSE: The reason I ask is this. As you know, I’m a publisher. I’ve made my living in publishing ever since the end of the war. And as you can see, we haven’t done too badly.
    D STIESSEN: It’s a beautiful house, sir.
    B HASSE: And God bless the U.S.A. for that. And God bless Adolf Hitler— which I mean ironically, because if it wasn’t for Adolf Hitler, we wouldn’t be here today.
    D STIESSEN: Sure.
    B HASSE: No, of course not “God bless Adolf Hitler”— no one in their right mind would say such a thing. But this is American capitalism right here. Supply and demand. We as a people depend on printed materials to carry out the business of the day. And this goes all the way back to the time of Johannes Gutenberg— who was my relative, by the way.
    D STIESSEN: Wow. He was—the microscope?
    B HASSE: The printing press.
    D STIESSEN: Ah.
    B HASSE: Ever since the mid—fifteenth century, this is how it’s been, and this is how it’ll always be until the day the world goes to hell. And, not incidentally, this is how I earn most of my income, from the printing and distribution of such materials. Posters. Pamphlets. The sign for Kleinstock pork sausages hanging over the crosstown expressway. This is information.
    D STIESSEN: Good thing to get into.
    B HASSE: What’s that?
    D STIESSEN: Information. Big business.
    B HASSE: If you’re willing to diversify. People don’t realize the technological revolution that’s about to take place. Suffice to say that the printing industry is on the verge of a major shock. And the thing that they’re planning is so wrong, it makes me want to spit.
    D STIESSEN: Wrong? In what sense?
    B HASSE: Morally it’s wrong, very much so, and I’m not exaggerating. Listen to my philosophy, Derek. And if I’m speaking in hushed tones, the reason will soon become apparent. When you place type on a page, it forces you to confront the meaning of your words. The type is real. It’s real ink, real paper. The words have a source. The source is accountable for the truth of the words. These messages flowing out along telephone lines, hurtling themselves across the country, these messages cannot be trusted. They come from nowhere. They’re not real.
    D STIESSEN: Telephone lines?
    B HASSE: Do you now see why I’m speaking in hushed tones?
    D STIESSEN: Abso—
    B HASSE: So the point is that I’ve been looking for an excuse to broaden my range and who knows, your book might be the thing. I want to read it. Give it to my secretary tomorrow morning. Or better yet, drive back up to the house. We’ll have a family luncheon, without all these people around. D STIESSEN: I’ll certainly do that, sir.
    B HASSE: Oh, and Derek. Change the name. Too German. We’ll fix it. Here, don’t move, I’ll grab Donna, we’ll get you kids going. Freshen your drink?
    D STIESSEN: I’ll do it.
    B HASSE: It’s all ice, tell them to make you a new one. But come right back.
    D STIESSEN: The bar?
    B HASSE: Through the French doors. I’m headed this way.
    KENNETH HOOK: Bartholomew, you’ve got to make yourself more available, I’ve been trying to hunt you down all afternoon.
    B HASSE: Ken! Hi, come walk with me. You came to my party, this is amazing. Inviting you was a mere formality, we never thought you’d actually show up.
    K HOOK: Gotta leave at three. My plane’s taking me to Washington, then down to Key Biscayne.
    B HASSE: What do you need to see the president for?
    K HOOK: Who the fuck knows. This is Richard Nixon, he probably just needs an alibi. Anyway, you... you’re the man in question.
    B HASSE: Is that a fact.
    K HOOK: I have a picture of you.
    B HASSE: Oh, well this sounds lurid.
    K HOOK: What you wouldn’t give just to see it, let alone keep it off the open market.
    B HASSE: I don’t know,