The Everafter
part of me knows that all these things I’m worried about—falling out of my dress, Gabe seeing me throw up, getting laughed at for the way I kiss—these are mostly excuses so I can avoid admitting what the biggest problem is. Change. I hate it. I’m used to my life just like it is. If I’m the girl who just dreams about kissing Gabe,then I know exactly who I am.
    Sandra begins to walk away. “Wait! Where are you going?” I ask. We always walk to class together.
    She gives me an “oh, please ” look. “You know exactly where I’m going,” she says. Then she turns and starts walking again.
    She’s right. I do know where she’s going. She’ll catch up with Gabe and tell him not to give up, that he should ask me out again.
    Trying to stop her will be useless. I’m both terrified and relieved by the realization.
    I close my locker, noticing that my pen is still on the ground. I reach for—
    age 7
    “Kitty, no!” I shout, just as her little ginger paws land in my carefully sorted piles of beads. Purple, pink, and turquoise beads scatter across the tabletop before pattering onto the floor.
    At first, our new kitty is startled by the noise. She jumps backward on the table, bumping into a bowl of fruit. But as the beads continue bouncing across the floor, her ears prick up and fascination gleams in her eyes.
    She pounces.
    More beads roll across the table and plunge to the floor, followed by the soft plunk of a three-poundkitten chasing them.
    “No, no!” I shout again, frantically trying to gather the beads back together. I’m only halfway through the necklace I’m making and if I lose these beads, I won’t have enough.
    The new kitty is batting at the beads, chasing them around the kitchen. Several roll under the refrigerator. More travel under the stove.
    “Stop it, kitty,” I moan.
    Mom puts her arm around my shoulder. “It’s all right, Madison,” she tells me. “We’ll get them out somehow.”
    “But what if I don’t have enough to finish my necklace?”
    Kristen and Dad are now intentionally kicking the beads around the floor, laughing as the cat chases them.
    “This is all part of having this cat you’ve been asking for for months now.”
    It’s true. I’ve been asking for a cat for a long time. And I was so happy at lunchtime. Tiny, furry, blue-eyed…my dreams came true when Mom walked through the door with her.
    But now… now I’m thinking this might be a bad idea. Sure, “hard work” and “responsibility” were mentioned. But no one thought to tell me a kitten would ruin my necklace.
    Kristen picks up the kitty, who starts to purr immediately. I’m jealous. She hasn’t purred for me yet. “Let me have her,” I say.
    “In a minute,” Kristen says.
    “Help me get your beads,” Mom says before I can wrestle the cat from Kristen.
    Mom grabs a hanger from the closet next to the kitchen and starts sweeping it below the stove. A rainbow of beads emerges, and Mom moves on to sweep the area under the refrigerator.
    “I hope I’ve got them all,” Mom says, but I’m not really paying attention to her anymore. Kristen is setting the kitty in my arms.
    And the kitty is purring. For me. She likes me. Her little, soft padded paws bat at my cheek. She begins to play with my hair.
    “Look at that,” Mom says in amazement.
    The kitty snuggles her head between my neck and shoulder, settling in for a little rest.
    “She looks cozy there, doesn’t she?” Dad says.
    “Can we name her that?” I ask. I want her to be cozy with me forever.
    “Sure,” Mom agrees. “That can be her everyday name.”
    “Everyday name?” Kristen asks. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
    “Well, according to T. S. Eliot—”
    “Ugh,” Kristen groans. Mom loves poetry, but Kristen can’t stand it when Mom starts talking about her favorite poets.
    Mom ignores Kristen. “According to T. S. Eliot, a cat needs three names. One’s an everyday name, like Cozy. But then he says a cat needs a more

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