The Flawed Mistress (The Summerville Journals) by Margaret Brazear Read Free Book Online Page B

as if I could be too proud for
anything.
         He was
busy writing when I was shown into his rooms.  He looked up with an
irritated frown, as though I had interrupted something much more interesting
and important.  I realised all at once that he still treated me as the
poor little wretched child who first appeared on his doorstep seven years ago
and my newly discovered confidence was not going to allow it to continue.
         “I was
told,” I began firmly, “that it is you who is responsible for my residence and
for my upkeep, not the Earl of Connaught .  I was
told that he left me nothing, that the house was to be sold over my head. 
Is it true?”
         He
looked uncomfortable as though I had discovered a shameful secret.
         “Yes, it
is true,” he confirmed quietly.
         “Why? 
And why did you not tell me?”
        
“Why?”  He repeated.  “Because it was my fault,
that is why.  He came here, the day he left you.  He was very
angry and he told me he was going to sell the house and your jewels and that I
had better be prepared to take you back here."
        
"Oh, and you did not want that did you?"
        
"No, but that was not the only reason.  It was my fault he had left
you with nothing and I did not want you to know that.  I was the one who
deceived the Earl into marrying you.  I knew his only reason for marrying
was to procure an heir and I knew that you were likely to be barren, but I went
ahead with the arrangement anyway.  I was not likely to find another
titled gentleman to wed you, was I?  I was not likely to find anyone to
wed you, knowing that you could never bear a child.”  He paused and looked
at me with a plea in his eyes.  “I thought it was for the best at the
time, but I was wrong.  I thought he would be bound to fall in love with
you, with your beauty and your modesty, and then the question of a son would be
irrelevant.  I did not understand how important those things are to the
aristocracy.”
         I was
shaking my head, unable to find words with which to reply.  I had been
very angry and now I just felt deflated.  Had he really believed it was
for the best?
         “I loved
my wife, you see,” he went on.  “It would not have mattered to me if the
child had died, my baby son.  It did matter that she died and I will never
understand how a man can put his baby before his wife.  I am not of the
same world, Rachel.  Forgive me.”
         What
else could I do but forgive him?  Perhaps he did have the best intentions,
even though I begged him not to force a marriage to anyone.  If he loved
his wife so much, I would have thought he might have more understanding, like
my new friend who was so concerned for his wife’s happiness.
         It was
the following day that Lord Summerville returned with his Countess, a shy
little thing who curtsied and kept her eyes cast down the whole time, even
after we sat.  This man had filled me with a lifetime’s worth of
confidence in a few short hours and yet I did not know which one to pity more.
        
       

CHAPTER
FIVE
     
       
So I had found friendship in the most unlikely place.  The Earl was so
charming and so good looking, women turned their heads as he passed, their eyes followed him wherever he went.  I do not
believe I have ever seen that look in the eyes of a woman before, but his wife
was strange, more like a child than a grown woman.
    She sat and stared down at her own hands, not looking up for
anything.  I was the very last person to know how to engage someone in
conversation, but I did my best.  Every question I asked was met with a
nod or a shake of the head and I looked over her head at the Earl in desperation. 
He merely shrugged, as though this scene was not new to him. The afternoon was
dragging when His Lordship said he had an appointment.
       
“It will not take long, My Lady,” he said.  “Perhaps my wife could stay
here with you.”  He turned