The Forest of Hands and Teeth by Carrie Ryan Read Free Book Online Page B

Travis's body on the bed shudders a bit as Cass lets go of his hand and stands. She is sniffling, her eyes are red and bloodshot and her entire face looks haggard, as if she is exhausted from the emotion of being so close to so much pain.
    She is a different woman from the one who came in earlier.
    “May I come back and visit with him again?” she asks.
    The way that we're standing, it takes little movement for Sister Tabitha to look past Cass and meet my eyes briefly as she answers, “Of course you can. Mary prays for him daily. You may join her then. Perhaps with both of you entreating God, He will show mercy.”
    I can feel Harry's eyes holding me, willing me to meet his gaze. But I don't want his apologies now. I don't want to explain why I have spent so much time at his brother's side.
    Cass turns to me and places her hand on my cheek. “My Mary,” she says. “You are too good.”
    All I can think about is that I can still smell Travis on her hands, and it is almost my undoing.

    When Cass and Harry have left, Sister Tabitha escorts me back to my room. “You have finished reading the Scripture through five times.” It isn't a question and while I have no problem lying to her by omission I cannot lie directly to her face, and so I nod.
    “Then your vow of silence is over.”
    “Yes,” I respond, language feeling strange in my mouth after so many weeks of silence. My voice feels loud and harsh to my ears, which have grown accustomed to soft whispers against Travis's cheeks.
    “You will advance to the next stage of your studies soon. For now, you will help Cass through this ordeal and continue to pray for Travis.”
    I nod. Because even though I am allowed to speak now does not mean that I want to do so. The ability to speak comes with the burden of explaining myself to Cass.

    Because I am weak I don't tell Cass that my vow of silence has been lifted. Instead, I sit in a chair near the window as she kneels next to Travis's bed, her lips moving in prayer. Travis's fever hasn't broken and he is rarely awake, though he often groans in pain and thrashes on the bed. After a few visits like this I can see that she is weary and exhausted and lost, and so I go and kneel next to her and wrap her in my arms. She collapses against me in tears.
    On the seventh day Cass doesn't come to sit with Travis and I begin to worry that something has happened to her. But then Harry comes in her place and tells me that it has become too much for her to bear, seeing Travis in so much pain.
    He does not stay. He does not ask how I am doing or how Travis is doing. Instead, he stands in the doorway to Travis's room a moment, looking at me as I sit in my chair by the window watching his brother sleep peacefully.
    “You love him,” he says to me. I try to find accusation in his voice but I cannot.
    “You did not speak for me,” I respond.
    His eyes flare for just a moment and then his gaze shifts away from me as he looks out the window. I want him to tell me why. Instead, he says, “I'm sorry, Mary,” and turns and leaves, his eyes skimming over me before he closes the door behind him.
    I slide out of my chair and crawl over to Travis, pulling myself up to kneel by the bed. It has been too long since I've been the one in this position. For the past few days it's been Cass here and Travis has slowly been getting better, the redness around his scar receding. But he has yet to fully wake up instead of sliding in and out of restless sleep, his mind seemingly blurred with pain.
    I clutch at him and begin to sob. I sob for my lost family, for betraying my best friend, for not having been spoken for and for falling in love with Travis so deeply. I sob because my life is nothing like I imagined it would be. I sob for the way we all live and for the Unconsecrated and the Forest of Hands and Teeth and the Sisters and the Guardians. And for me and for Travis and his broken leg and the thought that he may never recover or if he does he may never