The Ghost Exterminator by Vivi Andrews Read Free Book Online Page A

listening to Muzak, eighteen minutes and thirty-seven seconds was pretty damn awesome.
    She stepped out of the elevator to escape the most painful synthesizer version of The Phantom of the Opera she’d ever heard, only to find herself in a beige office suite so sterile surgery could probably be performed on any flat surface.
    The receptionist, wearing a white button-up shirt and khaki skirt, was nearly as colorless as the rest of the office. She smiled blandly, and said in an expressionless monotone, “May I help you?”
    Jo didn’t need to double check the name engraved on the wall behind her to know that she was in Wyatt’s office. The receptionist had about as much personality as the average droid. “I’m here to see Mr. Haines. Jo Banks. Karmic Consultants.”
    Droid-girl glanced down, checking some sort of list and then looked up and offered Jo another automated smile. “You can go right back. The last door down the hall on your left.”
    Jo saluted and headed off down the hall, looking for some scrap of flavor along the way. There were no paintings, no decoration of any kind—not even some trite Successories poster telling the employees to achieve or visualize, climb every mountain, reach for the stars, or whatever inspirational platitude corporate America approved of this week.
    The last door at the end of the hall was not a door, but an open doorway. It led into a small waiting area with enormous mahogany double doors at the opposite end and a small curved desk off to one side. The woman sitting at the desk beamed at her as soon as she walked in.
    “You must be Jo!” she twittered excitedly. “I’m Moonbeam, Wyatt’s secretary.”
    Jo locked her jaw to keep it from dropping to the floor as Moonbeam swept around the curved expanse of her desk and moved toward her with her arms outstretched for a hug. Moonbeam looked to be in her early sixties, her long, flowing brown hair liberally streaked with grey. She wore a plethora of colorful silk scarves, some wrapped around her hair to keep it back from her face, some draped across her shoulders and still more around her waist as belts. A loose, peasant-style blouse and flowing calf-length print skirt completed the classic hippie look, along with a pair of flip-flops with crystals sewn onto the straps.
    Before Jo could react, Moonbeam embraced her enthusiastically, enveloping her in warm arms and the powerful scent of lavender oil. Moonbeam gave her an extra little squeeze, released her and floated back around the other side of her desk.
    “I’m so glad you’re here!” she enthused. “I’ve been so worried about Wyatt. He’s been under so much stress lately, opening the new inn and then all of the Episodes with the Nightmare on Elm Street. I try to help, but he refused to let me Feng Shui his office and he didn’t go to a single one of the yoga classes I signed him up for. There is something seriously wrong with that boy’s chakras, let me tell you. I’m not trying to say that it’s his fault. Far from it. The poor boy is a Virgo with a Scorpio moon, born to be a controlling prick. You can’t escape your sign, but if he doesn’t learn to harness his energy in a more positive manner, I know it’s going to corrode his soul. When I saw him drawing on his face this morning, I just knew it was a cry for help. I called Karmic right away. I knew you would be able to help him find the balance in his chi.”
    Jo debated telling Moonbeam that she wasn’t there for Wyatt’s chi, but decided that discretion was the better part of valor. Instead she smiled and said, “Is he ready for me?”
    Moonbeam sighed and shook her head, taking the question in an unexpectedly philosophical direction. “I just don’t know, Jo. I completely agree that he will never find balance in his soul unless he is ready to accept it, but how do you know when a man is ready to embrace change?”
    Jo cleared her throat, then realized she sounded like Wyatt and muttered,