The Grifters by Jim Thompson Read Free Book Online Page A

possibly better way of life. All in all she was frightened by the conscientious apartness, sensing in it the seeds of tragedy.
    Because they were good to her, or meant to be, she tried to be as they were. She was even willing to believe that they were right and that she was wrong. But mere trying, willingness, was not enough for them. They accused her of abandoning her faith, one that she could never remember knowing. Their tyranny, in its own way, seemed almost as bad as that she had fled from, and at last, she had had to flee from them.
    Life outside the refugee world wasn't easy. The alternative to it often seemed to be a world with quite as many prejudices as the one she had left. But it was not always that way. There were some people who were completely indifferent to what she had been; that is, they were indifferent in a critical sense. They-the rare few: Mrs. Dillon was their best example-accepted her for what she was now . And-
    She saw Mrs. Dillon approaching, moving past the other tables with her easy imperiousness. Hastily, Carol set down her teacup and came to her feet.
    "Please sit down, Mrs. Dillon. I will get you some tea, yes? Some coffee? Something to eat-"
    "Nothing," Lilly smiled, waving her back to her chair. "I won't be staying at the hospital this evening, and I wanted to talk to you before I left."
    "There is something wrong? I-I have done-"
    "No, you're doing just fine. Everything's fine," Lilly assured her. "Get yourself some more tea, if you like. There's no hurry."
    "I'd better not." Carol shook her head. "It is almost six, and the other nurse-"
    "I'm paying the other nurse, too," Lilly said flatly. "She's working for me, not the hospital. If she doesn't want to work a little overtime for extra pay, she can quit."
    Carol nodded and murmured meekly. This was a side of Mrs. Dillon she had never seen before. Lilly's smile returned.
    "Now, just relax and rest easy, Carol. I like your work. I like you. I hope you like me, too-my son and I."
    "Oh, I do, very much! You have been very nice to me."
    "Why is it that you don't have a regular job? That you're just working extra?"
    "Well…" Carol hesitated over her answer. "The hospital, almost every hospital, it graduates its own nurses, and I am not such a graduate. Then, the regular jobs, like in the doctors' offices, they usually want skills that I do not have. Often bookkeeping and shorthand, and- -"
    "I understand. How do you make out on this special duty work? All right?"
    "Well, I do not always make so much," Carol said seriously. "It depends on how much work I can get, and that is not always a great deal. And, of course, there are the fees to the nurses' registry. But… – well, it is enough, whatever. When! know more and when I better understand English-"
    "Yeah, sure. How old are you, Carol?"
    "Twenty-seven."
    "Oh?" Lilly was surprised. "I wouldn't have thought you were that old."
    "I feel much older, sometimes. Like I had lived forever. But, yes, I am twenty-seven."
    "Well, no matter. Any boy friends? Going steady with anyone? No?" Lilly thought that was strange too. "Now, a girl like you must have had plenty of opportunities."
    Carol shook her head, her upturned features humorously solemn. She lived in a furnished room, she pointed out, and she could not properly receive young men in it. Then, since it was necessary to work whenever she could, and since she worked irregular hours, it was not possible to plan ahead nor to be sure of keeping a social engagement if any were made.
    "Also," she concluded, blushing, "also, the young men try to do certain things. They-often, I am greatly embarrassed."
    Lilly nodded gently, feeling a strange tenderness toward the girl. Here was something, someone, absolutely real and the reality was all to the good. Perhaps, under different circumstances, she might have turned out as wholesome and honest-and real-as Carol was. But-she shook herself mentally-to hell with that noise.
    She was what she was, and thus Roy had