The Hinky Velvet Chair by Jennifer Stevenson Read Free Book Online Page A

his fingers and a card appeared.
    Jewel stared. When did
he get a visiting card?
    The butler examined the card, bowed again, and stepped back.
“If you would step this way, milord.” He parked them in a front room with dead
animal heads on the walls and disappeared.
    “You have any more of those cards?”
    Randy handed her one. Randolph
Llew Carstairs Athelbury Darner, third Earl Pontarsais, it read in tight,
loopy script. Clay must have bought him the cards.
    “You realize there may be an Earl Pontarsais alive right
this minute.”
    Randy favored her with a look of pitying hauteur. “I’ll
fight him for it.”
    “I don’t think,” she whispered, “they still do trial by
combat in Wales.”
    The door opened. “In here? Thank you, Mellish. Ah, hello,
good afternoon, I’m Virgil Thompson.” Thompson was an old guy with a bald head
like a turtle’s, about three inches shorter than Jewel. “Lord Pontarsais.”
Thompson shook hands with Randy. “Marvelous. And your lovely, lovely lady
friend?” He took her hand and gazed up at her as if she were Mount Rushmore.
    She gave Thompson a businesslike smile and repeated her
credentials. “We’re sorry to disturb your privacy, sir.”
    “Not at all, not at all.” Thompson appealed to her in a
fossilized way. There was a gleam in his turtle eye, as if he might at any
moment say Yowza or Hotcha, cutie-pie. “And how may I serve
the lovely hand of the law?”
    “Sir, I’m sorry to inform you that a known criminal was
observed entering your home yesterday.”
    “You terrify me,” Thompson said, looking unterrified. “Is
this man a burglar?”
    “No, sir, he’s a con man. He calls himself Clay Dawes.
Perhaps he insinuated himself into your house as a guest. He’s a very smooth
talker. We’ve had him under observation for weeks. When we realized he was in
your home, we felt it was time to reveal our presence. In confidence, sir, if
you feel you can keep the secret.”
    Turtlehead Thompson blinked at her. “Oh, I can keep a
secret. With confidence. Yes, he came by yesterday posing as an aficionado of old machines. I have a remarkable collection, you know. It happens that a
friend has brought me a valuable antique for repair and appraisal. Of course
he’s after that.”
    “Perhaps. It wouldn’t do for us to make assumptions about
his motives yet.” Now to see if she could talk her way into the house. Jewel
shot Randy a warning look.
    “Ye-e-es, I quite see.” Thompson’s pale blue eyes got
bright. “My goodness, how exciting! I feel as if I were in a film about master
thieves.” He turned a mischievous smile on Jewel. “As I see it, you two must
become my guests, as well.” He tapped his lips with a skeletal finger. “But not
as fraud investigators.”
    This was almost too easy. “Uh, of course not,” Jewel said
uncertainly.
    “No, no. You must fit into the decor. Hm.” The turtle head
turned from Jewel to Randy and back. “I have it. You shall be psychical
investigators. I am considered something of an expert in the history of such
matters, so no one will feel any surprise at your visit. Lord Pontarsais can
remain himself, but perhaps we should disguise his name a little? Lord, hm.”
Thompson looked at Randy’s visiting card.
    Randy’s eyes sparkled. “You might style me Lord Darner. I
have a personal interest in supernatural phenomena.”
    Virgil Thompson bowed. “Very neat. And you, my dear? Perhaps
you are his hired expert.”
    Jewel set her foot on Randy’s toe and leaned forward. “I’d
rather be his hired debunker. Trailing him around the country, keeping him from
spending money on fakes and bull — and nonsense.” She smiled another warning at
Randy.
    “What fun! A believer and a skeptic. We shall call you, mm,
Julia Hess. That way if Lord, er, Darner happens to forget and calls you by
your real name, it won’t be noticed.” Thompson rubbed his hands together,
looking tickled to death to be in a complicated intrigue. “You