the thought.
“Expect to what?”
“Be drawn to him. I was well over him before I came here, and being around him, even for short periods of time, has been awful. Those moments when I can see the old Brad, or the hurt that he’s locked away, I want to reach out to him. Then there are times when I want to slap him, or kiss him, or both. And it’s only been two days!”
Bec, evil person that she was, laughed. “I’ve never heard you like this. Where’s the controlled Dani who didn’t let even her fiancé get under her skin?”
That was a good question. Maybe being around Brad was bringing out the girl I’d once been as well. Nobody got to me like he did. “I don’t know, but I need to get her back, fast.”
“I rather like this new you. She’s kind of fun.”
“You just like laughing at me because you’re a mean person. As my best friend, you’re supposed to support and encourage me.”
She giggled again. “I am supporting and encouraging you to sleep with that hot piece of man meat.”
“Man meat? You have issues.”
“No, you do, and trust me when I tell you they can be resolved with one hot, sweaty bout of sex with your ex. Maybe you just need to get him out of your system.”
“How can I get him out of my system if I let him in my system? You freak.”
“Only in the sheets.” She cackled like a deranged witch.
“More places than that, apparently,” I muttered. “Was this whole book just an attempt to pimp me out to Brad?”
She stopped laughing. “Do you honestly think that of me?”
I shook my head even though she couldn’t see me. “No, but—”
“There are no buts. He wanted you for this book and I thought it would be good for you. Did it cross my mind that you might reignite the old flame? Of course it did. Put any man and woman with history in a room together and something could explode. But whether or not that happens, what I wanted, what I still want, is for you to be happy. And you haven’t been, before or after your breakup with Jason.”
“I was perfectly content.”
“Which is not the same as happy.”
“Well, I’m certainly not happy now.”
“No, but you are involved and intrigued and could be happy, maybe.”
“Or I could get my heart crushed again.”
“At least then you’d have felt something.” I started to respond but she hurried on. “I’m not saying you should do anything right now. You’re just getting to know him again. But can’t you be open to the possibility of maybe?”
No. “It would compromise the book.”
“Screw the book. The book will be good regardless. This isn’t about the book. It’s about you. You can be the story or tell the story. Which do you choose?”
It had never been a choice. “I’m here to tell the story.”
She sighed again. “You keep telling yourself that. Now, don’t you have a date to get ready for?”
“It’s not a date.”
“Is he picking you up?”
I knew where this was going. “Yes.”
“Did you buy a new dress?”
“Yeah.” It was a long, gorgeous column of golden shimmers that cut a bit low on the bodice. It wasn’t scandalous or anything. And the slit in the left side that showed off my leg just made it easier to move.
“Are you putting on makeup and heels?”
“Of course. It’s a charity dinner. I can’t show up in jeans.” Even though I’d be much happier that way.
“Do you have any idea how these charity dinners work? The guests buy plates for something like ten thousand a head.”
“So you’re saying . . .”
“That he forked out a ton of money with the intent of taking you to this dinner. You can attempt to call it whatever you like, but any guy who spends thousands of dollars to take you somewhere is calling it a date. Plus, you bought a new dress.”
“He probably had the tickets long before I planned on coming out.”
“Maybe, but it’s you he’s taking. And you’re planning on looking hot, aren’t you?”
“Of course I am. I’m meeting Pamela
Learning to Kill: Stories