The House of Sleep by Jonathan Coe Read Free Book Online Page B

everyone else’s, towards the grotesque and fantastic: she often had nightmares about snakes, for instance, and even worse ones about frogs). It was only that morning on the terrace, with Gregory’s help, that the truth had suddenly come to light. And although Sarah had been upset by their argument the night before, in another sense she was grateful for it: because it was this argument, and its strange consequences, that had finally unlocked the door of the mystery.
    The trouble had begun the previous afternoon, when Gregory told Sarah that they were both invited out to a birthday dinner being given at a local restaurant (yet to be decided upon) by a fellow medical student: someone called Ralph, whom Gregory himself did not, it seemed, know particularly well. Sarah asked if she had been included in this invitation by name, and Gregory was forced to admit that she hadn’t: as far as he was aware, Ralph didn’t know that theywere lovers, and had merely told Gregory that he could bring along a friend, if he wished. That figures, said Sarah. Gregory asked her to explain this remark: and she told him that she used to be friendly with Ralph until an embarrassing episode that had taken place a few months ago, following which they hadn’t spoken.
    ‘You know that fish restaurant down by the harbour?’ she said. ‘The Planetarium?’ (It was called that because of the domed ceiling over the main dining-room, on to which a local artist had recently painted a large nocturnal skyscape.) ‘Well, he invited me there once. Just me and his parents, who were down for the weekend. God knows why I was singled out for this honour: I think he may have had a bit of a crush on me. Anyway, it was a Saturday night, and it was very crowded, and towards the end of the meal, just as we were having coffee, I started to feel really ill. I mean really ill. I think it must have been the mussels. I went to the loo and thought I was going to be sick but nothing happened: so then I went back upstairs and everyone was getting ready to leave, and I was still feeling really terrible, but still, we got our coats and then we all stood on the restaurant steps saying goodbye. His parents were going back to their hotel in town, you see. Anyway, there we all were, chatting and saying goodbye, and then suddenly I knew I was going to be sick. Any second. And sure enough, right in the middle of the conversation, without any warning, I just buckled over and threw up all over the steps and the pavement. There it was, my entire meal, splashed all over the steps of the restaurant for everyone to see. And the amazing thing was, Ralph and his parents never stopped talking. I mean, that’s real breeding for you, isn’t it? They just carried on as if nothing had happened. The only thing Ralph’s mother did was to pass me a Kleenex, so I could wipe my mouth. And then they just chatted on for a couple more minutes, arranging what they were going to do the next day, and then they kissed him goodnight, and then his father leaned over to kiss me goodnight, and just as he did that it happenedagain, I suddenly felt sick and before I knew what was happening I was throwing up all over the steps again, only this time half of it went over his father’s trousers and shoes as well. And still, you know, they never batted an eyelid. Never said a word. And then his parents thanked him for a lovely evening, or something, and off they went in one direction, and we went off in another, and all he said to me was, “Are you O K now?” in this really cold tone of voice. So then we got into a taxi and went back on to campus, and we didn’t even kiss goodnight or anything. I got the impression he thought the whole thing was quite funny, in a nasty sort of way, because his parents were posh, and I wasn’t, and he thought I’d given an amusing demonstration of how the lower orders behaved in front of their betters.’
    ‘No, you’re doing him an injustice,’ said Gregory. ‘I don’t