The Housewife Assassin's Garden of Deadly Delights by Josie Brown Read Free Book Online Page B

athparagus !” Trisha’s pronunciation of her plant collection is garbled between mouthfuls of buttered toast.  
    While the kids roar with laughter, I break the news to Jack that we’re swapping carpool duty.
    He almost chokes on a piece of steak. When he recovers, he grumbles, “Are you crazy? But—but Mary and Evan were looking forward to me driving them to school in the i8!”
    I raise a brow. “What you mean to say is that you were looking forward to wowing them and all their friends with your new ride. Well, too bad. What I have to do is much more important than you reliving your glory days as big man on campus.”  
    “I just don’t know if I can take the Terrible Two this early in the morning.” He’s referring to Jeff’s carpool buddies, the always-clueless Morton Smith, and the ever-conniving Cheever Bing. “On second thought, maybe it’s best that we’re switching cars. Between the two of them, they’d kill that wonderful new car smell before we got to school.”
    “I’ll gladly trade you for what I have to do instead: break the news to Evan that his mother has requested that he see her on her birthday. She was the call that came in at five this morning.”
    Jack snorts. “That’s Catherine for you, always considerate.” With a shrug he adds, “Evan is almost seventeen. It’s his decision to make.”
    “I told her that, in no uncertain words. However,”—I hesitate because I don’t feel comfortable with what I know Jack should hear—“Catherine dangled a carrot. If not for Evan, for Acme, anyway.”
    “Oh yeah? What is it?”
    “She claims she’s got something on the Quorum that will put it out of business for good.”
    Jack puts down his fork. By the look on his face, he’s lost his appetite. “Do you believe her?”
    “Well…there was a desperation in Catherine’s voice that I’ve never heard before. Whether it was there for Evan or because she fears for her life is hard to say. But we both know that what I think doesn’t matter. Ryan will also have to weigh in on this.”  
    “That’s a no-brainer. Like us, he’d like the Quorum dead and buried once and for all.”  
    I nod. “Okay, then. I’ll use her enticement as a last ditch effort. Hopefully, it won’t come to that.”
    Wishful thinking. We both know it.
    I straighten his tie. He leans in for a kiss.
    All talk amongst the children freezes, as if a bomb just went off. Trisha and Jeff are awed. Mary and Evan are mortified.
    They’ll grow out of it. Random acts of love and adoration should never embarrass us. Life is much too short for that.
    Finally, I pronounce, “Show’s over! Grab your gear and let’s get moving.”
    The kids grumble—not because they’re still enthralled, but because they’ll arrive earlier than usual, by about twenty minutes. I’ve planned this on purpose, so that I have enough time with Evan to break the news to him.
    Hopefully, I won’t be breaking his heart again too.

    My first drop-off is Trisha. When we pull up to Hilldale Elementary, four other members of her Daisy Scouts troop are there to greet her. As they run off giggling, their troop leader, Lori Sloan, waves and strolls my way. Like her daughter, she is rail thin, with hair the color of copper, and a spray of freckles across her heart-shaped face. “Donna, so glad I caught you! I just want to remind you that this is the last day of the troop’s cookie sales.”
    “True me, Trisha is on it. She’s already sold fifty boxes. She’s hit up the neighbors so many times that they now cower behind their curtains when their doorbells ring.”
    Lori laughs. “The girls are so excited. Last year, the Hilldale troop came in first place in the state for the number of boxes sold. They’re bound and determined to beat their own record.”
    “By the way, if you need help tallying the sales, feel free to give me a call.”
    My offer earns me an even wider smile. “Thanks, and yes, I’ll certainly take you up on that.” She